Supporting someone with Anxiety in Relationships/Friendships
Dating someone/having a friend who is struggeling with anxiety can be a bit difficult to deal with some times as we might not know how to support them best and how to act.
But having a partner/friend who is dealing with anxiety does not mean that your relationship/friendship won t work out and will be hard to enjoy. By understanding anxiety in general and how it affects your partner/friend you can may connect in a new way. Educating yourself can also relieve a lot of the stress.
I have summarized some steps you could take if you want to support a friend or partner through anxiety. You do not need to try out all of these of course. And be prepared for it to have ups and downs, it may take some time to understand how to support someone the best 
-Understanding Anxiety
In an anxiety-related disorder, your fear or worry does not go away and can get worse over time. It can influence your life to the extent that it can interfere with daily activities like school, work and/or relationships. Fear, stress, and anxiety are "normal feelings and experiences" but they are completely different than suffering from any of the seven diagnosable disorders plus substance-induced anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorders, and trauma- or stressor-related disorders.
It might be very helpful for you to educate yourself about anxiety and the struggles your partner or friend is going through to empathize better with them and give them your fullest support. A website that could help you with that is: https://www.anxiety.org/what-is-anxiety
or you can also check out our anxiety community here (click me) on 7cups!
-Be aware of the impacts of anxiety in relationships
If you are dating someone with anxiety or being friends with someone that struggles with anxiety, it is very likely that the person spends lots of time worrying and overthinking of what could go wrong or what already could be wrong.
Unfortunately there are many anxiety-motivated behaviors people encounter in relationships. A few examples are: being angry easily, having troubles focusing, avoidant or passive aggessive behavior etc. They may become clingy, it makes them believe the relationship is not real, might make them want to avoid others etc. and isolate themselves sometimes. (though everyone can have different symptoms and behavior)
-Educate yourself about what can help someone dealing with Anxiety
Understanding how to support someone with anxiety takes a bit of time and effort, but it's achievable if you're prepared to take it one step at a time and re-read any info you don't understand straight away.
There are specific types of anxiety strategies that are suited to being done with an accountability partner:
Exercising ; Trying out Yoga/Meditation ; Spotting and balancing anxiety thoughts (For example, if you don't get an email reply back from someone straight away, does that automatically imply bad news?)
-Help your partner/friend break free of avoidance behavior
Avoidance behavior is a huge part of what causes anxiety. When someone avoids something they need to complete due to anxiety, their anxiety will snowball over time.
Some examples of avoidance behavior are:
Making phone calls, Repairing mistakes ; Making requests (such as asking a boss for time off)
Whatever the person is avoiding, they may find it helpful to talk through the steps they'd need to do to break free of their avoidance. For example, "Well, the first step I'd need to do is...." Help them identify and/or take that first step.
-Validation & Destigmatizing
It is common that people with anxiety feel embarrassed about themselves and their mental health.
Communicate with them that their anxiety is not a sign of weakness and nothing to be ashamed of. Try normalizing any negative thoughts they may be experiencing about their anxiety.
Anxiety is a real problem. Anxiety is normal. Everyone has it. It only becomes an issue or disorder if it is severe. Anxiety is not a weakness.
-Assist them in getting help (if they want to!)
You are not expected to cure the anxiety of your partner/friend.
Sometimes them reaching out for help, such as in therapy, can help them a lot to cope better.
If they are already getting professional help, you can ask them what they are currently learning and working on, such as anxiety management techniques.
If you are willing, you can also offer them to visit a therapist together if they feel scared, or try out anxiety management techniques (ex. meditation) together with them at home.
But definitely do not pressure them to reach out right away. That may makes them feel very uncomfortable and it is okay to feel scared of opening up to someone. You can definitely let them know that you are there for them all the time and open to seek support together.
These are the main points I have summarized. Experiencing anxiety can be different for anyone and have different symptoms. Maybe your friend/partner has some other coping methods or wants you to support them differently, what is absolutely okay. And it can take time finding out what fits your partner/friend best, and it may not work out right away.
@AveryLove Wow, I wish I had people in my life who cared about my mental health enough to be there for me the ways you're suggesting. For my family, if I ask them for support, they'll just yell at me to go to therapy. They have no concept of being able to support somebody as family should. I have my boyfriend, who is supportive. But sometimes I feel like I can't totally trust him. I'm worried he could ultimately take advantage of how much I need him.
@EverythingsOkay17
Hello I just felt like responding to your message, I feel the same way in my relationship, my boyfriend is very supportive but I feel like I'm burdening him by expressing the hurt or anxiety I'm feeling all the time. It can be difficult to share b/c I have this fear that he'll get sick and tired of hearing me talk about the same thing and do little about it. Glad to know I'm not the only one feeling this way.
@nyny456 yes I've also found myself repeating my concerns over and over again to my boyfriend. First of all, don't feel guilty... maybe ask him how he feels, and if he says he feels burdened, drained, or stressed by it, then change your ways. :) Secondly, talking about it over and over again might help you continue to work through it. In the process of getting unstuck, you might encounter the same problems over and over again (so don't feel bad). You can find the "getting unstuck" self-help guide in the 7 Cups self help section. Third and finally, maybe realize you aren't feeling satisfied by sharing your problems with your boyfriend. Maybe keep them to yourself, talk about it with friends/family, talk to a therapist, journal them, pray it out (if you pray), meditate, or talk on 7 Cups. Sometimes our bf's just can't relate or help out, even if they'd like to. Even the best of men fall short. Anyway... I'm not a professional so please take my advice with a grain of salt :) But YES I totally feel you!! I text my boyfriend a lot... Too much! Sometimes he'll respond with just a one word, "Goodnight" - which initially bugged me, but now I appreciate it since he's so consistent and I know whatever I say to him, he'll consistently respond (not a lot, but at least I know I have his consistent presence and no judgement). :)
Last night, I posted somewhat of a poem on my feed likening broken relationships to looking in a broekn mirror ... it's probably buried under other feed posts now, but I will look for it and post it here, too. 
@AbbyHarris1976
I love poems, please do I'm interested in reading it
@Wayward7Good7Intentions
You got it! It's the next post down.
@AbbyHarris1976
Thank you so much, Abby!
Sometimes, the fallout from a broken and hurtful relationship is like looking at your reflection through a broken mirror. Perhaps such a hurtful relationship causes you to hate yourself and blame yourself for what happened.
Youre broken up deep inside, so thats what you see in your reflection through the broken mirror. A fractured image represents the fractured soul.
The pieces of the broken mirror are everywhere, and picking up the pieces of a broken relationship, either to attempt to put them back together or to clean them up and move on, is the most difficult and painful thing to do.
How do you look into a broken mirror, and what do you see? Can one ever be repaired?
@AbbyHarris1976
It's a beautiful poem and it says so much, doesn't it! It's true that break-ups with romantic partners and also friendships are so very painful. The relationship is a reflection on ourselves, but it is also a reflection of how we allow ourselves to be treated too. For example, I learned a lot by writing down qualities that were common in all of my ex relationships. Eye opening experience! Then, I changed my boundaries to where they should be and started valuing myself more. Thanks for the poem ;-)
Both me and my best friend have anxiety but we live so far apart we can't be there to support each other face to face. So we help each other through Whatsapp - when one of has to deal with a situation that makes us particularly anxious, the other will send supportive messages (or just lots of funny gifs and pictures as a distraction). One thing we do is give the other person a creative thinking challenge so they're not focussing on the anxious thoughts - one of the regular ones is to come up with a song title and/or lyrics but the words have to be replaced with animal names or sounds.
Here's my version of 'New York, New York' that I came up with once:
"Start smelling the news, dogs peeing today, they want to be a part of it, New Bark, New Bark"!! 
My partner and I both have to deal with a lot of anxiety. We try to be there for each other as much as we can, whether it's helping each other calm down, talking or texting to help distract from an anxious moment, or just being there. Sometimes we have to push back a little if our own resources are low because you can't care for someone else if you're running on empty, but we both have support systems outside the relationship as well.
Taking a step back when it gets too much, or give me a minute can make a big difference while I process things.
Hello everyone. I just wanted to share my experience. My husband has suffered from severe anxiety since before we were married 21 years ago. He also has borderline personality disorder, so his attachment to me as his support person is very strong. When it became too much for me, we had an honest discussion about seeking out extra sources of support. I have learned that you can't be everything for another person.Those expectations aren't fair to either of you, and it will cause burn out eventually. Seek multiple sources of outside support online or in person. Also encourage your significant other to be honest when your anxiety becomes too much for them. Their fear is that you'll be hurt, but assure them that their needs matter to you too. A big help for me as the "support person" was to get support for myself in a family BPD support group where I was able to vent without hurting my husband's feelings. We've come a long way from where we were before.