The Only One!
Hey everyone this is my first post and just getting a little bit off my chest. Me and my wife have been married for 9 years going on 10 and I the start of the year has not been the best. My wife has bipolar and waiting to confirm with a doctor if she is on the autism spectrum. We found out she was bipolar 4-5 years ago and in the beginning we were reading and researching to help her through learning about what the diagnosis meant and how her life is going to change now knowing the info. The autism part was found out December that just passed. But we have been on our own since being married, from moving to where the military took us, to now being 9 hours from family. We haven’t had a lot of help and friends are on the none existent side. So all we have is each other, we understand that is not the most ideal but not having a system to help with our children, adult time is in the back seat of what we have going. I am at a place I don’t think I can be everything she needs to be able to handle all of this she is going through. Is that wrong of me because I feel horrible for having this feeling. I want to be everything and never let her down but lately I am nothing but a let down to her. And it is killling me because I don’t have anything going on with me like she does but I have not been able to keep it together.
@VeiledShaw
It's understandable that you feel this way, as it is understandable that you feel bad about it. But I am absolutely sure that you try to be there for her as much as you can, otherwise you wouldn't have come such a long way. It's quite difficult, all the issues that you two face. But in a "normal" (as far as normal goes) relationship, one doesn't only get support from their significant other, but also from friends, family, etc. I understand that your situation makes it difficult to make friends, but try to see if she can join some kind of community (through sports, hobbies, religion, similar interests). I think that having a community around you, can lift your spirits and take your mind off things. From that, friendships can evolve, and those are very important for support.
But don't take it out on yourself, you're doing everything you can to help her. It's not good if you try to do so much for her that it's at the expense of yourself. That's not a healthy marriage. Try to do as much as you can, but think about yourself too. You're doing great, I'm sure of that!