5 year relationship
I’ve been in a long distance relationship with a guy for 5 years. We’ve been discussing me moving closer to him so that it can be healthier for our relationship. But recently his depression has taken over. He wasn’t in a great space and questioned whether he should give up on us due to this…I felt like I was left in the dark. I know my love is really strong with him and I’d do anything to help him or fix anything. Recently he bonded with a family friend and things escalated. While we were on a break he told me he slept with her but soon realized it was a mistake and cried about it. His guilty conscious makes him feel like he doesn’t deserve me and I deserve better. I know sometimes your able to work through things but I’ve told him several times that I’m not upset about him sleeping with the girl, but with the lack of communication. He feels as though his emotions got the best of him and said they both shared that in common. But anytime we talk he thinks about all the things I’ve done for him and talks about how in love he is. I honestly don’t want to give up on him, I feel like this is something that we could push through. But I feel like he thinks he should be a crutch for her due to her suicidal tendencies and she has told him that if she ever messaged him wanting to kill herself if their relationship progresses not to mind it. She’s just used to guys sleeping with her and leaving. I love him but I feel like this isn’t the best thing for him. He told me he’s scared of what she would do to herself when he ends things. So it’s like he’s holding on to it… not sure what to do.
@limeCar530,
you should be proud on yourself for trying to help your boyfriend and trying to understand the situation.
Having said that, do you really understand the situation?
What do YOU want? What makes YOU feel happy?
If your boyfriend is depressed, he should get help. If he doesn't, you might want to take over and seek help for him, whether he agrees or not. Take a stand and don't give in.
As for that family friend, it is simple. You give your boyfriend a choice. Either she is out of you are out. You should not accept such a situation, how much you love him does not matter, any love should not be at the expense of love for your true self.
That that girl threatens with suicide, well, that is irrelevant, If she wants to commit suicide, that is her problem, her choice, not yours. To put is bluntly, let her, if she wants.
Try to apply mindfulness. Do breathing exercises. Start breathing slowly, deeply, without putting effort in it. Focus on breathing, slowly in and out. Notice any changes in you. If you have started to feel more at ease, look at the situation. Ask yourself if there is anything you can do, if so, what. Do it, and stick with in, no room for bargaining.
Take care!