Ahead in academics/career, behind in relationships
I spent the majority of my 20s in college. I have a PhD and Masters, a great job and a loving family. I thought having these accolades would just lead me to “the one”. Now I’m 29 on the verge of 30 and my longest relationship has lasted 3 months. Tired of waiting for “the one” to just show up in my life. Most days I reflect thinking my 20s was wasted in school so much so that I look forward to the weekends to drink and act like an idiot in an attempt to pick up a girl at the bar. Tired of venting to friends about how unlucky I seem to get with every women I try to talk to and to date. Tired of hearing people say “it only takes one” or “it’ll happen when you least expect it” or other annoying statements. Just tired.
@cjay1010
hi, i think if you really feels tired and bored of looking for "the one", just stop finding. cause when u feel like looking for "the one" is making you unhappy, then you won't do things good, and that might be the reason why you can't find the one. <(?)sorry if that doesn't sound good for u, u can delete this message if u want.>
Finding this person is partially making me unhappy. But being a man of science and having the determination to see things through, it’s a challenge I won’t be able to put aside until I achieve it. It’s been my obsession recently, which I understand isn’t healthy but I can’t help it, it’s who I am as a person.
Congrats on your achievements! School does takes a lot of time and energy among others which could make other parts of our lives suffer. You’re still young! I would recommend not going to the bars to find the one though. Maybe it’s just me but I wouldn’t expect to meet the one at the bar. Are there other gatherings you go to meet women? Community events, church or the likes? Maybe have a potluck/get together with friends and have them invite women who they think may be good fit for you. Most couples I know met through friends or acquaintances. Maybe you just need to change up the scenery?
@Blueberry4032 Achievements are great but if turning 30 soon has taught me anything its that these accolades don't matter if you don't have anyone to share them with. Now I take every chance I can to relive my 20s by going crazy on weekends at the bars, doing anything in my power to forget about the 9-5 lifestyle I will be sucked into for the next 40+ years.
@cjay1010 The greatest advice I've ever come across is that for you to attract what you want in life, you have to not just desire it, but also work for it. Are you happy in the dating world by just going out to bars? Because it is only what you are putting out into it. As others have said, change the scenery.
@positiverainbows34 My "dating" life doesn't only consist of going to the bars. The bars are a nice way to forget about the work week in an attempt to meet someone. I have tried various different things: dating apps, in person, church groups, meetup groups, etc. To say I haven't been trying is an understatement. The problem is I am rarely given the chance to go out on a 1 on 1 date with anyone. I put dating in quotations before because I am not truly dating, I am meeting women only to never get the chance to actually take them out and get to know me on a personal level. Always up for additional suggestions and advice, these are the things graduate school and school in general never teach you.