Any advice is greatly appreciated!
My boyfriend (24) and I 23) have been dating for 5 yrs. The conflict we’ve been having is not new but I think it’s getting out of hand now. He gets noticeably upset when I turn him down for sex. I tell him that sometimes it feels like he is pressuring me to do it when I’m just not in the mood. & when he is very in the mood and I’m not, this is when he physically coerces me and I feel like I can’t turn him down cause he usually gives me this silent treatment for some time. This past week we have had our house to ourselves, as my dad lives with us and has been out of town for the past week. Also for the past week my boyfriend and I have had a few disagreements where we ended up not speaking for the rest of the day. When this happens I tend to not be in the mood but for my bf is doesn’t matter. He still tries to coerce me into having sexual even when I’m still upset about things. He doesn’t try to make me feel better, as I have asked him to if he is ok with it. When he notices I’m still upset then I’m return he too gets upset, which kind of frustrates me even more. Well last night he had been speaking all day about how horny he has been. Later on in the evening, we were lying in the bed and he began to undress him self and get ok too of me kissing me. I kissed back a few times then told him I wasn’t really in the mood. He didn’t speak to me the rest of the night. & when I woke in the morning he seemed bothered. I asked him and he said he was ok. After a few minutes went by he mentioned how my dad has been out of town for a week and we’ve only had sex 1 time since we’ve had the house to ourselves and that he expected us to do it more during this time. In response to told him that my mood for having sex depends to how I’m feeling and when we have disagreements back to back over several days, I need time to recooperate. I feel like he is being pushy and very selfish but he does not understand where I’m coming from when I say this to him. How do I get him to understand it’s not my issue to fix when he is horny and I am not.
@tidyVase6488
thanks for sharing all of this with us, it sounds very stressful to have constant pressure to share yourself when you are not feeling it. Don't give up, keep having these conversations. Also, there is a great book to check out called the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It talks about how we all have different ways of receiving and feeling loved. My BF and I read this together and it helped us to understand what we each need...check it out :)