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Are they controlling or am I a crybaby?

User Profile: cyanPrune1179
cyanPrune1179 February 26th, 2023

Hi from and on again off again situationship,


This partner is critical of my actions often and has things he won’t “allow”. Like me being a bartender or not liking my work uniform as a cocktail waitress ( it’s skimpy ). His rationalization is I’m not being true to myself.


I recently started working a sales job, and I was talking how I went out to find potential customers on the floor. He was so critical of me and this tactic.


He said I didn’t know how to read people and I was taking advantage of them.


When I asked him why he brought this up, and that it was pattern ( ei paragraph 1) he said that I should understand why

It was wrong, I asked for further explanation. He said “ you should know why, I don’t need to explain it.”


As I type this, I’m seeing how toxic this kind of behavior is.


any advice? Or words of comfort as I figure out how to get away from this ?

3
User Profile: 0m
0m February 27th, 2023

@cyanPrune1179

Your feelings about his behaviour are absolutely valid. What you described shows that he is not respecting you or your work.

It sounds like you have already decided to get away from this relationship and are figuring out how best to do so.

As you talk things through and think them over, sometimes it can help make them clearer in our own mind too. Please feel free to share or vent. You are heard.

Much strength to you!


User Profile: versatileSugar2384
versatileSugar2384 February 28th, 2023

@cyanPrune1179

It's called gaslighting 😓. Run is my only suggestion. I learned the hard way... know your worth. You got this

User Profile: dukeofdearham
dukeofdearham March 1st, 2023

@cyanPrune1179,

someone who loves you accepts you as is.

He doesn't. He seems to try to shape you in someone you are not.

That is definitely not love.

You deserve true genuine love. Better.