Break Checked
i started talking to this girl about 3 weeks ago because i thought she was attractive and had a really nice personality. At first things were really looking up, she was my type, we showed signs we liked each other. We have very similar hobbies and we clicked really well together. That was until roughly a week ago, when we saw each other. i feel like i did something wrong because she keeps canceling plans on me and since yesterday has gotten really dry. i keep replaying the last time we met over and over in my head to think of what i did but i cant seem to figure it out.
i wanna ask her if i did something but i dont know how nor do i have the courage at the moment. i keep overthinking and putting myself ina thought loop, where i ask myself if she still has interest, what i did wrong, and why she doesnt have the same spark as before. im left being disappointed in myself because i feel as if it is my fault, i feel very let down.
how should i talk to her about this and how do i cope with it if it is a negative response?
ps: this is my first time actually trying to date a girl. we have no kissed and i think thats part of it
Hey,
i completely understand where you are and I’ve been there myself. You connect with someone and it starts out well but a couple weeks later things start to go stale.
I have learnt over time that
1) How someone behaves is not a reflection on me. Maybe you didn’t do something wrong at all. Maybe she’s got stuff going on that’s got nothing to do with you Maybe she she didn’t feel as connected to you and doesn’t know how to communicate. Most people unfortunately won’t have a conversation with you and will just ghost. It sucks and it’s painful and it’s part of dating. You are awesome and deserve someone who’ll communicate honestly with you.
2) I’ve learnt to say to myself “I like them but I don’t know them.” The beginning is really really good but you don’t know this person. We tend to idealize romantic connections and when the person starts to show us who they are later it surprises us and hurts. So learning to slow your brain down by saying you don’t know the person helps.
3) Dating in 2021 is rough. You’ll definitely go through a lot of frogs but it’s also fun to meet new people and learn things about yourself. Keep at it. There are great people on this planet.