Dating a boy
I have been dating a boy for a year and moved in together two months before the anniversary. I love him but some days I feel like he doesn’t pull his weight around here and sometimes I feel like I’m not. I also sometimes wish we didn’t live together because I really want my own space. For our anniversary I thought we could go to worlds of fun and he said he’d pay for his part of the ticket. So I bought the tickets and closer to time he said he can’t actually afford it. I told him that’s alright it’ll just be my gift to you, which was probably not a good idea. He said he can take me out to dinner that day as well. Our anniversary rolls around and we have a good time. After we leave the park he then takes me to his parents house who had cooked barbecue and we ate there. It wasn’t what I was expecting but I wasn’t going to complain to him. That day he didn’t give me anything except a quick happy anniversary and a kiss. Fast forward a week and he brings me to Golden Corral and gives me flowers. I really really don’t want to seem materialistic or anything but this whole thing is making me sad and I don’t really know what to do.
Well, is he struggling financially? Maybe he can’t afford anything more than what he gave you. He loves you but he’s probably embarrassed to tell you about his financial hardships. Look, I know he didn’t give you any gifts, but he still loves you wants to be with you. As a guy I know we can have a hard time giving gifts to the ones we love in fear of being used and manipulated financially. But he’ll eventually warm up. You need to know that his love is the best gift he can give you. The only time I’d worry is when he stops being affectionate. Good luck.
@victoriouspinetree286 Yes. Those are all good points. Thank you for sharing.
@indigoLion7427 It sounds like that you and your boyfriend are on different pages. You your expectations of what you want from him and what he gives you doesn't match. Some of the discrepancies here have to with your everyday personal space, your social life, your financial life and intimacy and how these aspects play out in your relationship with him. It sounds like that he struggles financially and that he wants to provide you with things that you want. Since that he is unable to afford those things, he gives you what he can afford and what he believes that is satisfactory to you. His idea of what will appease you and what actually satisfies you are different. It sounds like that him and you struggle with intimacy. Because of all the aforementioned issues and struggles, he spends a lot of time with you to get that closeness and to make you happy. His closeness to you and him making you happy impacts how he feels about himself. I say that in this situation that he feels on the lower end of self-worth as he feels that he is not able to satisfy you and that you are not fully accepting and appreciative of what he gives you. He may be having a difficult time being intimate with you because he doesn't feel completely loved and accepted by you.