Familiar gut feelings
When I first joined 7cups years ago I joined out of fear that my partner at that time might have been cheating on me, turns out. Yes, he was. My gut was right, the strange feeling deep down was correct and I didn't listen to myself for the longest time and it ended up hurting me a lot.
Now years later I find myself unable to shake the feeling that something is wrong with my current long-distance relationship, I fear I grow more distant from my current partner and vice versa. I spend days looking at my phone and, sure the messages back and forth are sweet and filled with endearing comments but we just don't seem to have the same conversations anymore. Our calls grow fewer and I find myself unable to interest my partner in what little activities we CAN do over the long distance between us.
I promised my partner I would trust him and that I have faith in us together but my gut just won't stay silent, it won't go away no matter what I try, say, or do. I want to keep the promise of believing in the person I love but I also don't want to be stuck in the same problem as before where I did not believe what my gut was telling me like with my previous relationship.
I want to do better than this, I want to show the damn wonderful fool I love that they are that shining bright light for me and know and ACCEPT that they feel the same about me.
@Lazsathel I saw your words so clear that I felt your pain. It sounds that you carry upon yourself so much fear, that it clutters your current presence.
It wouldn’t be as much of an issue if it did not happen multiple times with multiple people over multiple relationships. As you can imagine that made it hard for me to see myself as something anyone in this world wants to be with in a serious relationship with l, It even made me question if I should continue on the same path with my sexuality as it was always the guys I fell in love with that did these things. I know I shouldn’t let a run of “bad luck” guide my decisions, but I also can not ignore past mistakes.
