Feeling unsupported and unwanted
Generally speaking my fiance and I have been together for about 10 years now. it feels like The last 5 years have been nothing but a struggle. He says he loves me and I'm one of the most important people in his life but yet when it comes down to the emotional support and physical support it seems as if he is not capable of providing it when I most need it and it's difficult to talk to him because things start turning into a competition rather than being supportive or understanding then I feel like my problems my issues are overlooked or degraded as meaningless but whenever he has an issue it seems as if he blows it up out of proportion and I wish he could see what he does and how he makes me feel at times I don't feel like a relationship is the same I feel as if we've become more distant and it speaks volumes when we don't hold hands out in public anymore or do the cute couple things like take photos of each other and romantic stuff and when I bring this stuff it's almost as if it's a nuisance to him and then he wants to flip the spotlight on to me and rather keep it on him to figure out what it is that I am expressing so we could get down to the bottom of things. Our communication with each other has fallen apart and is if he is a totally different person than the person I fell in love with there are things I wish I could say to him and express to him but it never gets through to him he doesn't make the appropriate changes as I would for him and then it's frustrating when I feel as if I can't talk to him about how I feel or what's going on our relationship has become toxic but we keep on trying to fix things that never get fixed I just wish I knew how I could better Express things to him to help him understand what I'm going through rather than doing what I'm doing already and not making sense to him cuz if I'm not making sense to him how am I getting through to him to help him understand what my emotions are and how it's able to be resolved. mind you I am diagnosed with ADHD, depression, and anxiety. I'm also diagnosed with PTSD so there are things that are triggered that I have no control over because of my traumatic experiences and that is also another thing that I know he has a hard time understanding.
Thank you for your time and reading this any helpful tips will be much appreciated. Especially those who have experience with something that I'm going through. Again thank you for your time.
@MoodyUniicorn I'm in the same boat basically. my bf never listens to what i would like to work on, i buy decks and bring over workbooks to point out stuff and he's like 'yeah whatever' or 'that does nothing for me so i'm not into it' when he asked ME what i wanted. so why ask. it's frustrating to feel like you're not being heard when you're talking so much and no one is listening. please make sure to take time away from this if you can or wake up later or earlier to spend some time alone and appreciate yourself in the ways that he cannot. put yourself first and maybe it'll teach him how to honor you more. and then once you're feeling better maybe readdress the situation with him.
