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Financial burden to my girlfriend and daughter

User Profile: SanFranciscoAlpaca
SanFranciscoAlpaca January 9th, 2022

Hello everyone,


My daughter turned 1 last month and as her father I have been watching her ever since. My girlfriend and I agree’d that I would quit my job at the Bank and do stocks since she just started a good position with Stanford working from home. Well I have been struck bad financially and it’s starting to take effect on our relationship. She had to cover a portion of my rent last month and as a man I felt so terrible being in this position.


I’ve tried working graveyard and watch my daughter during the day, but it started taking a toll on my health for the lack of sleep and it wasn’t fair to my daughter the way my mind was static during the day. Just recently, my girlfriend has had tough days at work with all the COVID surge happening and thats when she started verbally expressing how she feels about the situation.. She resents me for buying a new car as a family car and wasting all of my savings on stocks. Mind you my money has run dry since I haven't been working for a year. What hurt me the most is when she said I'm not a partner I'm ‘dead weight’. That really struck a nerve. I’ve been depressed before but this… is for sure a low point for me. I’ve hit rock bottom.


Personally I would rather be the one working my ass off and have her be the full time daycare for our daughter which I intend to do, but it’s gonna be a while. I’ve applied to many jobs but it’s tough during this COVID pandemic.


We both know this has fractured our relationship and the sparks isn’t there anymore.

2
User Profile: ArielKn
ArielKn January 11th, 2022

@SanFranciscoAlpaca It is amazing how much financial issues can magnify and at the same time overshadow everything else. I remember how in rough times I felt as my core was crumbling, collapsing into itself. And that was even before adding the extra layers you need to carry.


Being a salaried worker is much easier than working from home. It's true even at times everything goes well. But when something doesn't, it will impact even on the best relationship. It will probably not be simple, but it seems that you know exactly why you are going through it, and you are doing it for good reasons.

BTW, allow me to congratulate you on her first birthday, in my experience, she is just starting the sweetest period. At least, by being with her, you will be able to see how that small creature is changing, learning from you how to deal with frustrations and success, becoming closer to you, mimicking your gestures and your tiny expressions. It's the sweetest thing to observe.

Be strong, be patient with the other and I do hope eventually everything will come up just fine
User Profile: Gripperburke
Gripperburke January 11th, 2022

I lost my job during the pandemic, although I had enough in the bank to see things through. My wife worked during that time and her attitude was quite different to your gf’s - she was happy to be able to step up. She’d also look after our one year old in the evenings.

The only difference I see is that your gf doesn’t want to be looking after you and your baby. If it were her baby, it’d be a different story.

Where’s the mother of your baby? Why isn’t she around to look after her?

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