Gaslighting/Being Just Friends
My, now, ex boyfriend broke up a little over a month ago and it was because he thought I cheated. Completely understandable and I have come to terms with the fact he won’t believe the honest truth. The thing is we never left each other alone. It’s hard because he’s always saying we just need to be friends , he needs to focus on himself, etc. Recently, he’s gone through an injury and it has caused him to not be able to play the sport he is very passionate about. I know with all of this, he’s really going through it but is it honestly fair to me? He started becoming friends with his ex again and started just gaining more female friends. I personally don’t think he’s going anything with his ex 1) they weren’t very serious 2) i’m just second girlfriend ever 3) him as a person, aside from the relationship, is very genuine. It’s the fact that he can do all of that but if I did it, he would stop talking to me. He follows multiple girls on social media (from our hometown) but if I did, he would get mad at me and stop talking to me for the rest of the day or just until he gets over it but would continue to hold it over my head so i do everything in my power to just avoid it. Also, he tells me like “(my name) I do want a future with you but right now I truly need to focus on myself but you’re my bestfriend and I want you in my life but when it comes to romantic things, it’s not my concern right now.” And maybe I am overthinking something , I don’t really know. I guess my problem is how do i truly accept that and let go of the relationship for now?
As you said, just let go.
Give him space. If he is meant to come back he will.
Focus on yourself right now. Your life is about you, not about others. When you thoughts are taking over, try to do some mindfulness. Simple breathing exercises. Breathe in, deeply, don't use effort. Breathe out, slowly, no effort again. Keep on doing until you feel more at ease. Works wonders for me if I notice that my thoughts are trying to take control. Thoughts only do damage and create perceptions and false beliefs about things you simply cannot control. But you can control your self.
And it is not gaslighting. So many people seem to use phrases like that so easily nowadays without realizing what they are talking about. let alone realizing the enormous damage hollow phrases like that can do. Please don't go there.