He Didn't Show Up Again
I've been seeing this guy for almost a year and during that time he got a new job that occasionally requires him to do 24 hour shifts. We don't live together and he's currently living with family so we sometimes get a hotel just so we can relax without prying eyes. I pay for most of the rooms because he has family commitments which I don't usually mind but...this makes the 3rd time he has not shown up after making plans to see each other. I try to be understanding because he's working hard but It's getting harder not to see it as him just not caring enough about me as much as I care about him.
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Lately, I've been sending him text messages that either just show a receipt of sent or delivered but he does reply. Today just like last time I sent him text messages before driving to the hotel letting him know the address, room, and eta but it was just marked sent on the message. When I checked in I sent another message letting him know the room number still the previous messages and the new one were marked sent not delivered. I decided to try calling but it was sent straight to voice mail like his phone was off. So I waited for a few more hours and checked again but it was still the same. Sent and straight to voice mail. The first time he didn't show he had a good excuse. The second time it was problems at home which we talked about and I was understanding told him next time to just call or text me so I don't worry or get upset we he just doesn't show up and most importantly when he's having problems so I can help. This makes 3 weeks that we haven't seen, barely talked to each other, and messages constantly either going unanswered or just marked sent and I just don't know what to do about this.
That sounds really frustrating, especially because hotels aren't free. Is the lack of communication new? Either way, it's not okay for him to basically stand you up. It makes sense to feel like he's not caring as much when he's disrespecting you like that.
The lack of communication is not new. Lately he's been no responsive only responding here and there to texts and calls. This would be the second time this year he has not shown up or broken plans but 3 in total like this situation.
Honestly I feel like I am in a similar situation with a guy right now and so I understand how frustrating this must feel for you. For me, I equate this type of behavior as him not seeing you as a priority in his life, by not even taking the time to communicate that he will not be able to make it, when you are clearly prioritizing him in your life by taking the time and spending to money to set up the accommodations for your meet ups. Have you communicated your frustrations with him? Additionally, maybe you could ask him to put down his credit card for the hotel and if he shows up, offer to reimburse him then? Maybe that will deter him from flaking but honestly I would hope you would be the bigger incentivizer for him going than the money would be, but unfortunately that does not sound to be the case
