He ask me why i cant be possessive of him and i cant tell him why
Me and my bf have been dating for quite a long time and I love to see him being happy and excited. One of the topics that make him giddy talking about is his past relationship. It is always a never-ending topic for us, and for me who has never been in a proper one before I was really curious about how things are for him
(Disclaimer I'm not a jealous type and most of the stories he told me are more of funny things he has experienced before than lamenting on a lost love kind of thing so it is not something I would mind)
But out of all of his past relationships, there was one that stood out the most. A girl we can call Anna. I notice how every time we come to mention her he would say it with so much affection and excitement in his tone of voice.
The way she changes him for the better the way she is everything he ever wanted. It was heartwarming to hear. And a part of me was thankful for her for if it were not for her the person I fell in love with so deeply wouldn't be here right now.
The thing is, their relationship ended badly and based on how much impact she made on his life, it was really hard for him to let her go.
Why I'm telling you this because recently he has been asking me why I can't be more possessive of him, not in a controlling way, but more needy more "he's mine" and demanding affection from him more. The truth is from the back of my mind I feel like it would hurt too much if I decide to be like that now. Because of how big Anna's image is in his heart, I feel like I always involuntarily compare myself to her for his affection. I know he would never think like that and even if given the chance he wouldn't trade me for anyone else. But I can never be like her, perfect, amazing, stunning, "the one who got away". tbh im okay with him thinking fondly of her like that for the rest of his life. But because of that it would hurt trying to be possessive of him since it would be like me competing with Anna over him. Time will change it maybe. But we will have to wait
@Ninamachi You! You sound amazing! He needs to probably chill on the “possessiveness” fetish or whatever it is. Perhaps you can find a way to satisfy what he is wishing for without it being something that feels unnatural.
