How do I talk to him
There is a guy I work with and have known for about 4 or 5 years and have always found him attractive but never really acted in anything and just brushed it off. Recently the attraction got stronger and I really want to talk to him even if it is just to be friends. I am struggling with how to do that though because I struggle with major anxiety and severe social anxiety, and he is very quiet and reserved as well.
I have never really been one to just start friendships because of my anxiety and even though I am 25, I could never bring myself to talk to guys I might like because my anxiety gets in the way. Does anyone have any tips that might help me to not only breakthrough my anxiety and shyness, bit his as well, without scaring him off.
@NanaShantelle97 I just want to preface with the fact that I am autistic so my social skills advice might not be professional level or anything, but I often find that no matter who I meet or where I meet them, neurotypical or neurodivergent, mentally ill or not, everyone can bond over shared interests (or even shared dislikes but that isn't the healthiest start lol). Does he have any interests or pop culture iconography he displays with his socks/tie/decorations/stickers/tattoos/etc? If you spot one that you share that can be an excellent ice breaker and an encouragement for you both to talk about something that is a relatively safe and comfortable topic. Maybe shoot for having a friendly inaugural chat on comfortable neutral ground outside the work building like a parking lot, or during leisure time.
Best of luck! You got this!
Honestly advice from someone that I have something in common with is the best. I am also autistic so it helps me to listen to people that know exactly what I am going through with social situations.
@NanaShantelle97
Ditto the previous responder. I think it may be a good idea to also work on alleviating the symptoms of your anxiety and autism, because it's not exactly going to just vanish if it's left ignored or if you try to will it out of existence.
Self-esteem or confidence isn't all that random and doesn't come from nowhere and you gotta learn how to love yourself first, otherwise, it's gonna be really hard to love somebody else and vice versa in the future. That is something I'd like to add on, because sometimes, if you feel really bad, it may make someone else feel bad in turn too...however, of course, if you feel good, it may make someone feel good or better as well.