I and my bf have been in a rough patch, and I was told I am manipulative, I didn't realize until he said it but he was right. How do i change???
Me and my boyfriend of nearly 2 years have been arguing almost every day for the past month or so, same problems every time. I never thought it was 100% my fault, however I know now that it was. I always seem to cause problems, almost subconsciously, but I don't know why. I hate fighting with him.
Today we had a really serious conversation and he told me I have been manipulative and borderline abusive in how I have treated him. That I will be dishonest just to win petty arguments and that I start arguments just to be and feel like I'm in the right. He told me that he is disappointed with the person I am because it's not who he thought I was. After he said all of this I realized he was 100% correct. I argue with him a lot and I hate to be wrong. So much so that I will feign ignorance in order to be right. I never really realized it, but now that I do i feel so so awful. I never ever wanted to treat him this way, he means everything to me and now I might be losing him because I have been cruel and egocentric for no good reason. Neither of us had the best role models for a relationship growing up, and I am afraid I will turn out like my mom one day who does the same things I described above to my father.
I know if I stay doing what I am doing I will lose him forever. Even if he decides to leave regardless, I will be a miserable person if I keep on like I'm doing. I don't want to be like this, and I need to know how to stop being manipulative, and how to be a better person. I don't want to lose him. He means everything to me, and I love him with everything that I am. Please help me, I don't know what else to do.
@FaithA21 I've never meet you, but I do believe that is not you. don't believe what people say I've been where you are, and it hurts getting called that i understand. but don't let him put out your spark.