I don’t understand myself !!
I've been engaged to a relative for about a year and I'm about to get married after 7 months but I didn't like him and couldn't, he doesn't look like me and doesn't understand me. But he tells me he loves me. But actually I don't believe it, but I'm a skeptical person so it doesn't matter but I decided that I'll continue with him anyway and give up the idea of love, and get married. The problem is that this is not the first time I have been engaged twice and this is the third and every time I lose interest and don't want any of them. I feel disgusted and I can't continue my life with them. At first I convince myself that I will be able to bear the idea of marrying anyone but in the end I really can't. I'm 24 years old and I don't work and I'm not that rich and I don't have any passion or ambition in life. I’m just pathetic What should I do? What should I really do?!
ur engaged to someone your related to?
Yeah, my cousin!
It looks like a pattern to me. Maybe you have problems with commitments. Try to look deeper. Why do you feel disgust? What are you afraid of? Maybe you have a traumatic experience and it causes this problem for you now. Try a therapy, maybe a schematherapy.
But if you did choose already to get married, think about it: love is just one thing in a marriage. You have to discuss dreams, carriers, parenting styles, expectations and future plans too.
I wish you the best!
The thing is I feel like I can’t love anyone.. And I feel all the time that nobody can understand me or the way I feel. I don’t like texting or calling or taking care of anyone. And I’m not interested in anything. I just want to be alone all the time and that make me calm and comfortable. I know that all I do or I can do is pushing everyone away and I can’t stop doing this. When I pushes them away, I feel relieved and relaxed and that’s all what I want, to be alone. I feel intransitive and sad sometimes, but I keep reminding myself that this is what I chose and this is what I want. I really don’t want my life to be like this for the rest of my life but I don’t know what to do?
@ezali If you don't even like this person and feel so much negative about it, I'm not sure you should get married. Although breaking up may hurt their feelings at first, both of you deserve somebody you really want to marry. You say you have no ambitions, but what about just things you like to do or hobbies? Maybe you should take some time for yourself to figure some things that you like to do before entering such a commitment out of obligation.
I know it’s not fair for him to stuck with someone doesn’t love him, but I give him the chance to choose whatever he wants but he didn’t answer me yet!
You are not a cow, meant to only produce calves and milk. You’re a human being and should find something in life that you’re passionate about. Maybe coding. Maybe something you studied. Maybe music.
Your main problem is growing up in a traditional Muslim (I assume) household. Unfortunately, there is no paradise. There is no hereafter. You need to make the most of this one life you have.
And you are still young. Find a job. Move out of your house if you can afford it else stay but find meaning in that job. Expose yourself to a bigger world out there.
Then get married 4 years later, whether to a cousin or someone else.