I made a mistake and need help please
TL;DR : I made plans with the guy I like after not seeing him for months, he said yes and started ignoring me. I panicked and spammed his phone 20 times, he got mad and said we should go our separate ways and won’t talk to me at all now.
Me(22F) and this guy (19M) have been friends for years. We like each other but are both inexperienced. We were also coworkers but never hung out outside of work (nerves?). I quit over the summer and he would text me everyday and we would talk for hours. I finally got the courage to ask him to hang out after not seeing each other for 4 months, and he actually said yes!! Normally when I’d ask when we worked together he would say no.
After we made plans he started ignoring me. I texted him the one day one time and got no answer when I could see he was active on all social media’s. Later that night I-mistakenly spammed his phone with calls like 20 times. He got mad and said we need to go our separate ways. I called so much because I panicked about the plans and I was excited to see him. It takes 2 seconds for him to have said he’s busy and we can talk later when I texted him originally. He won’t talk to me at all now and I don’t know what to do, I miss him badly and feel this is so stupid to lose a friendship over.
More context: once School started we wouldn’t text as much. Another coworker(19F) would text me and we would rant about our guy problems. She has known my guy since elementary school. I was scared she was going back and telling him everything I said about him (wasn’t bad I would just vent about how he HASNT talked to me much) so I would always ask him if he was mad at me. He hated when I would do that but I’d get so paranoid. (Turns out she did tell him everything)
@tiffy108
Hi Tiffy!
Oh man, there is a lot going on here, and it is a sucky situation for sure. I completely agree with you that he could have valued your time better and tell you right away if he is busy. Especially if he so obviously makes time for social media.
I'm sorry about your friend also telling him something you have told her in private. When we confide in people, there is an expectation for the conversation to be private, which was not honored in this case.
Having strong feelings for someone, can get ahead of us, and we do something that we regret, sometimes.
From what you told us, it seems like he started to ignore your contact attempts before the 20 calls. So keep the possibility open that this may have just been used as an excuse to cancel on you. Maybe he changed his mind prior to you calling or has panicked or was influenced by the other girl. There are a ton of things that might have happened.
I don't know your whole situation, but it might be beneficial for you to do something you enjoy for a distraction now and maybe wait out till the situation settles a little.