I need a little guidance

@Ariesgirl94 I understand how frustrating it can be when you and your boyfriend have a disagreement and finding the right time to talk about it seems impossible. It can feel even more challenging when work schedules get in the way. My suggestion is to be patient and give him some space to process his emotions. When you do get the chance to talk, communicate your feelings calmly and express the importance of resolving the issue. Try to find a neutral time and location outside of work where you can have an uninterrupted conversation. Remember to be understanding of his work commitments and show empathy. If needed, seek advice from trusted friends or consider professional counseling. With open communication and patience, you can work towards resolving the situation.

First of all if you feel the argument is resolved, but he is still angry/ behaving in a way that communicates distance, then it suggests he is not satisfied with the outcome. Also if he is avoiding talking about the issue, then this might suggest he feels it is pointless to “talk” if he doesn’t think you’re going to compromise, or he might feel another argument isn’t going to result in a different outcome. On the other hand, maybe he did intend to talk and genuinely got caught up in work (as you noted he wasn’t lying about work) and just didn’t have the strength to get into deep relationship issues after a long couple of days at work.

Its very important to give him time and space to process his frustration/anger/ emotion. Of course an argument should not be left unresolved indefinitely either. But pushing someone to resolve an argument when they are not ready is merely the beginning of the next argument 😹

When you both do talk, try to see things from

his perspective. Always come from a place of love and understanding. There’s a reason why you are both together to begin with. Remind him that you love him and want your relationship to work. That even when you disagree and argue that love is still there. Let him know that both of you understanding each other’s perspective is more important than being right or wrong! This might encourage him to feel more comfortable revisiting the issues if he feels he’s not just going to be shut down; if he feels you’re both in a more reasonable space to talk. Men are often “problem solvers” - we (sometimes) don’t like rehashing the same problems if we feel there isn’t going to be a solution.

Hope this is helpful to you! All the best to you both!

CatsInTheCradle

@Ariesgirl94

If you can't seem to find the time to sit down and talk, writing a letter might help! I just recently did this with my husband. I took the time to write a clear and concise letter, left it for him for when he got home from work, and then he had taken the time to read it and even respond in a letter back to me. It was extremely productive and then we were tip toeing around the situation waiting to communicate and letting things fester, so to speak.

Hope this helps!

I feel you on this, going through something simular, except mine left an hasn't answered my calls or messages, I have to go through his mother, an then I don't know if she's even telling him anything...I've gone crazy for 6 days not talking to him, finally he says I'll come an talk, an yet something keeps happening to where we still haven't been able to talk...

Even though it's frustrating, be patient an don't try to rush or force it, it will happen when it needs to. Do your best not to get overly worked up an worried, it will only cause more stress... I know easier said than done, but take a second an breath, everything finds a way of working itself out . The calmer you are the better off you will be when the conversation does come about