I need help making sense of this please
I have been seeing this girl for almost 2 months. We hit it off and go on dates every weekend multiple times on a weekend. I tried to make a move towards intimacy with her and she seemed very hesitant. I ensured her there is no pressure and we don't have to do anything at all. We continued to make out some more and then she said she wanted to take it further. We got undressed and did some light oral, when I went to give it to her she stopped me and said she doesn't want to. I said okay no problem at all so we stopped right there hung out for a little bit more and she went home. Then she told me she is not ready for a relationship with me or anyone else, that she felt overwhelmed with that night and just wasn't excited about it and also sad for some reason. She said her heart just isn't in it and she wants to stop seeing me to figure out where her mind and heart are at. I feel completely blindsided because I have never had a connection where everything lined up so perfectly before. I was planning on become exclusive with her very soon. What do you think happened here? Do you think she just needs time and space before coming around, or is it safe to say it's probably over? I just don't understand what changed in that split moment when everything was great before then.
@powerlinelineman
I think the biggest challenge is we cannot actually change other people's emotions, beliefs or attitudes, even if everything seems normal and safe from our point of view.
I think it can be important what age you are. Did you both have any previous experiences?
It's good you respected your girlfriend's boundaries. But it looks like she was scared. And most probably she was not scared of you, but scared of herself. Like discovering the part of herself that was too overwhelming to her, too much out of her control, or not accepted by her (as a result of social pressure or religious beliefs?).
If she thinks of sexual intimacy between two lovers as of something "dirty", "improper" or "sinful" that could only make the things worse.
I believe that no matter what happens next, you deserve a partner who loves you and wants both emotional and physical intimacy with you as much as you do.
Life is short. And I believe it should be easy when you are in your 20s or 30s. Because later, when you are in your 40s or 50s it can be complicated enough without much ado.
I don't mean taking life just on the surface of things, or disrespecting anyone, but being happy of sun rays as long as it shines in the spring if your life, with a person which is joyful and open to discover 😊
