Insecure boyfriend
Hi everyone. I'm starting to feel pretty uncomfortable with how close my girlfriend is getting with a dude she used to have a 'thing' with and I don't really know how to best approach the situation. I have tried speaking to her about it, but it's like she never takes the discussion seriously. If anything, she tries to defend him/their renewed friendship. I do trust my girlfriend, but don't trust the dude in the slightest. It's starting to make me pretty jealous and insecure about myself and I am worried it's going to turn me into a controlling boyfriend. Any tips/help would be highly appreciated!!
@goodCucumber7563 hi there! i totally understand how this situation is making you feel. situations like these can easily make us feel insecure and even jealous of whatever is going on :O
if i were you, i would recommend letting things go with the flow and instead focus on working on how you respond to this situation, and if you notice anything that is raising any concerns/suspicions, then you could step in and check-in with your partner to make sure all is okay. what do you think about that? :o
@KateDoskocilova Hey, sorry for the late response to this! Yeah, it's sort of what I am doing. Taking a back seat and just letting the situation play out on its own! The only issue is, I'm starting to feel like a third wheel in my own relationship as bizarre as it may seem. The longer I wait, the more chance this guy has to make the move, if that makes sense? I don't know. 😬
@goodCucumber7563 i understand how it must be for you :o though i think it is better to just show that you trust your girlfriend, because the more you show signs of 'distrust' (even though you actually do trust her!), the more damaging it will be for the relationship
@KateDoskocilova Yeah, I agree with you! All I can really do is sit back, wait and view the situation as it goes on. Simply hoping the dude eventually backs off and doesn’t try anything 😫
Hi! I’ve been in a similar situation.
For me, I trust my boyfriend as well. Wholeheartedly. I did feel jealous and expressed that to him while also reassuring him I trust him.
I believe that if the other woman was to make a move, he would do the right thing and follow up with talking to me about it. But it was also important for me to express how I was feeling about the situation and we talked it though by him validating my feelings and offering reassurance to me.
Hope this helps! 😊
@EmpatheticEcho Hi! Thanks for your response.
I completely understand what you mean! I think I just worry about this guy making the move, considering he has a pretty strong history with my girlfriend. So, in my head, I am giving him more credit than I probably should be doing and it comes across that I don't trust my girlfriend when I really do! It's just a VERY confusing situation that's been dragging on for a while now.
What would you say if you think that if that girl made a move you think he’d probably go along with it and hide it from you? Because that’s what I think my boyfriend would do and idk what to make of it.. not that he ever has but I feel like if that situation were to come up that’s what would happen :(
@gentleOrange Eh, I’d like to think IF anything would ever happen, my girlfriend would confess and come clean about the situation. To be honest, the dude I’m dealing with is the type to let me know about if as well if something were happening….his ego is too big to be sneaky 😅
You aren't being controlling at all in my opinion, hun! I don't blame you for not wanting to be around a guy who has been tangling with your woman 🙃 Always keep an eye on him x
@goodCucumber7563,
I understand. You are totally entitled to express your feelings about it and, I my honest opinion, she should validate your feelings.
I've been in a similar situation. My wife got close to someone else, who lives far away. I felt not comfy with the intense bond she seemed to have. She denied anything more than friendship was going on. There were signals that indeed there was, at least on her side.
My feelings were invalidated and it cost us our marriage.
If your gut instinct tells you something is off, then, sorry, I dare say your gut instinct, your intuition is spot on.
