I wanna break up with my girlfriend for numerous reasons Heavy trigger warning ⚠️

So, I have been with my gf for a few months. We're both trans. I'm a trans boy while she is a trans girl. We have discussed a future together. We're both in our teens- both 16. At first, she didn't seem to mind that I self-harmed-finding it hot. But when she had a su1c1d4l episode, we ended up making a su1c1d3 pact and she asked me to c4rv3 her name into my thigh, few weeks after, I had an episode and she yelled at me and then told me we needed to split. I have BPD, I struggle with self-harm, and have an eating disorder which is why I'm on here...I do have depression, and anxiety- general and social. I also have depersonalization derealization and PTSD. I've been through a lot. This broke me when she said we needed to split. I was set off, my bpd made everything so much worse. I had to go to the hospital. A few days after I got home from the hospital, I was doing better, I felt more happier I guess, as I could focus on more things, but she messaged me. We talked a bit, she asked me if we were still together. I was surprised as she was the one who initiated our split. We've been together again for a few days. She got mad at me yesterday and accused me of cheating which set me off and then told me to c4rv3 her name into my thigh again to prove I loved her. I talked to a friend who advised me to break up with her. My mom and therapist want me to block her. My other friends do too. I was about to yesterday and then she apologized. The worst part about it is, she said she didn't want me to lose weight. I hate the way I look. I need to lose some weight just to make me feel better. It just upset me. Like, really? I know its small compared to everything else, but it's just, everything made me so upset about it. I don't know what to do. She did mention that if I am "forced" to break up with her, there is nothing she can do. Maybe I can play the card of my mom finding out that I was talking with her and making me break up and block her. I don't know. Please give me some advice.