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Moving in with my boyfriend

User Profile: trayne000
trayne000 January 13th, 2023

So a couple of months ago probably back in around July, I moved in with my boyfriend. We had been talking for a while before we moved in. I was moving away from my moms house (i’m 18) because me and her don’t get along very well at all, and I needed to get away.

Everything was okay at first but it slowly started to get worse. We started arguing constantly about everything, mostly me getting upset due to the lack of communication and lack of attention I was receiving from him. Everytime I ask him to give me some extra attention like more cuddling, kissing and more intimate affection, he gets upset and extremely defensive. He also has no understand of communication in a relationship and how important it is, as he refuses to communicate anything to me and just gets upset instantly.

There was a point about a month ago where I decided to move back in with my mom because I was so fed up with our arguments. We thought it would help us have our own space to heal. I moved back in despite how hard it was, but we stayed together.

My mom had gotten a different roommate so I couldn’t have my room back (she also refused to give me back the furniture and mattress back from her new roommate; he had taken all of the stuff I had left in my room when I moved about without even asking me). Two or three days Into me being back there, my Mom and I got into a huge argument. I dont even know why, she just gets extremely angry and aggresive when she drinks and she drinks every single day. She ended up getting physical with me and and I had to call the cops on her. My boyfriend had to come pick me up since I dont have any other friends or family that I can rely on.

And now Im back here, even though I really dont want to be. It feels like I have no choice. Even if I were to save and work up to getting a place of my own, it’ll be impossible without somebody to roommate with or stay with. I feel so stuck, we argue every single day and Im getting so tired of it. I dont even have a place to go when Im feeling upset or angry, because I dont even have my own space or room. Its getting draining, its a constant battle everyday And i dont know what to do anymore.

2
User Profile: mary31
mary31 January 13th, 2023

@trayne000

I grew up with issues with my mom too and left home as soon as I could. Today I work my spirituality through 12 steps for codependents, as I need to learn to have healthy relationships (sth my mom could not teach me). To be more practical, I recommend you to search for places you can vent safely as you feel lonely, try to make friends in church or other places that you can get involved, and make a plan to leave your boyfried house safely when possible. Things will pass and you will be ok.