My boyfriend broke down to me and shared he has been struggling using cocaine for months now :( how do I support him?

Hi everyone! I am really need advice from someone who has over come cocaine addiction/ been a partner of someone with a cocaine addiction.

I just want to say that My boyfriend is an amazing man, hard working, kind to me, loyal, makes an effort in every possible way…. I am so lucky. I am wanting to support him through this, as he has been so supportive to me.

Some more context….. when we first started dating, he confided in me and shared he used to struggle with an cocaine addiction and actually used to sell. He was very ashamed and got quite emotional with me. I feel in love with him for his honesty and vulnerability with me.

Months go by, difficult times come…. My best friends of 16 years don’t agree with our relationship so Ive pretty much lost them…. Dealing with his verbally abusive alcoholic mother who we live with…… etc. We stand faithfully by each other throughout it all, but our mental health 100% has been damaged.

I am very verbal about my struggles, I constantly express to him my ups/downs in my day, I’m very communicative…. To a fault. My partner, he’s more a man of few words. It’s hard to get him to really open up.

Last night he bawled his eyes out and told me he’s been using again cocain for months now.

He said he hates doing it and It isn't Him … it’s his demons. Which I understand, I have my own demons. I am a chronic weed smoker and I literally can be so toxic….. so who am I to judge! But it’s still so upsetting :(

I never thought I’d be in this situation with him. This is so beyond my scope, I feel like I’m literally just going through the motions. I’m in shock.

This is where I need advice. My partner is a beautiful person, there isn’t one part of me that wants to abandon him through this journey. He has committed to therapy with me and is just a wreck. For months, I thought I was the only struggling. Turns out my boyfriend was silently struggling and I wasn’t there for him…. I feel so guilty. How did I not clue in sooner? There were some hints, but I didn’t pursue it. I was so focused on my feelings. Meanwhile he was drowning.

How do I support him? He feels so shit about it that I can’t even talk to him about it. Which I get. Has anyone dealt with anything similar?

Sincerely,

someone in her 20s and is so lost on what to do.