My girlfriend cheated on me by kissing another dude and now I am lost..
I am now with my girlfriend for almost 11 months, we had some ups and downs but it was going amazing for most of it.
One or two months back is when everything shifted, long story short she went out with a group of friends at night and ended up kissing a dude, and then again the next day he invited her to hang out and she said yes and went on to kiss him again while leaving me on seen.
I didn't know this of course until a few days later when she started feeling too guilty and told me about it.. actually she told me a lie, and said he sexually asaulted her.
She went on with this story for weeks until it was having too many plotholes and revealed the actual truth when we were being intimate. It was very shocking but at the same time it's expected because I was being suspicious at the time, she started crying and was having a panic attack at the thought of me levaing her. I eventually decided to give her a second chance, based on how genuinly sorry she was and I told her it was the make it or break it if she doesn't change her ways immediatly.
We continued until now, whitch is 2 monts later. We had some amazing moments, she became more transparent and I truly felt loved and apprciated more than ever before. I am kind of glad I handled it the way I did but I have to admit, I still feel the pain of it until now.
I thought it would go away with time and that I would feel better but I still have severe depressive episodes about how I was manipulated lied to and cheated on.
She of course is very ashamed of it and has gotten therapy for it to be better and everything, and she even does her best to help (even if it doesn't always work) when I feel depressed.
What I am asking for is advice, what would you guys have done ? And if someone went through being cheated on and then reconstructing how did you do it ?
@charmingPond9854
Hello, I am sorry that you are feeling like that and had to experience that. Depression is no joke. As I see things, there are 2 parts of the story. You and Her.
- She did cheat, lie and manipulate. People who cheat, lie and manipulate doesnt do it depending on the other person. I mean: She didnt cheat YOU, lie to YOU or manipulate to YOU. Instead she is a cheater, lier and manipulative person. That is a fact. This may change or not in the future. You may teach a fish to climb trees but its just better to ask a monkey. I mean she may learn how to not cheat, not lie and not manipulate, but its in her nature to do so. Can you accept her like she is? Can you accept her true nature? Or the only way she can be with you is changing her nature or pretending to change?
- You tried to give her a second chance, but its not working and you are still feeling hurt and depressive. Can you accept the way you feel? What kind of relation do you want in the future? If you want to marry and have children and would you be ok with her raising your children? Would you trust and love and accept her the way she is?
Our experiences may help you or not, since we are different people who have different values and experience things differently. The one you need to ask is yourself.
Best of luck with this, hugs.