Need advice: Stay friends or move on?
She told me “I just want to be friends rn and get to know one another better. A romantic relationship wouldn’t be good for us rn.” Should I stay friends with her and pursue or leave her alone?
I really like her but I’d like to get to know her better😭🥺 consistent and like her. She tells me “I don’t want to be friend with you if don’t even want to get to know me before dating me.” I agreed on being from there. She asked for space then she opens up to me the following day about deep personal mental health stuff she went through & I done the same about my anxiety and she gave simple warm advice “I’m sorry you feel like that. You just have to keep on pushing you know.” I’m just confused because she asks for space but texts me or send me funny TikTok’s sometimes… but when I asked for my stuff back, she wanted me to go to her house and get my belongings but when I had plans she asks me “why did i ask her earlier to get my stuff?”— I could tell she was upset that I was busy and not in her time anymore, so I follow up the next day asking if she’s home and she wasn’t.. is she just keeping my belongings to keep a connection? Because I got her a stuffed animal as a pre valentines gift (this was before we agreed on not hanging out on Valentine’s Day) and she texts me pictures of the bear I got her.. I’m like do you miss me or what? Idk I’m confused since she wants to just focus on friendship and getting to know one another more since she says she still likes me, cares about me, and has feelings for me. I personally believe she got scared & slowed things down in a man and aggressive way. She’s been cheated on by most of her exes, emotionally neglected by her family, SA in a past relationship, and told me she has trust issues. I’m not trying to save her, I can just relate to her in a lot of ways and I think me going slow at first scared her bc even her mom was like I never seen her this happy before this fast. She couldn’t keep her have off of me and felt comfortable to open up to me. I just don’t understand why she gives me excuses as to why we aren’t compatible to now “lets be friends and get to know one another better and if we stop end up being friends months from now then that’s fine “
Also, we have kissed and messed around, haven’t had sex though. And, did go on a free dates and I met/hung out with her family. I think she realized how fast we were going and I was/am treating her like a friend because if I like a girl... I don’t like to hop right into sex. She did what I was afraid to ask for.. by slowing things down but I got nervous and thought as this as rejection but she has stated that she still likes me, has feelings for me, and wants to still hangout. She also sends me funny TikTok’s still.
Hi, I'm sorry for your situation, I also find it extremely confusing. The answer to your question depends on how you feel, and what you are looking for right now, what you expect from her. If friendship with her would be just an attempt to bring her closer and to keep trying to be in a relationship with her, then I don't recommend it. She's already told you how she thinks about it, that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you because she doesn't think it's a good match. Respect her decision, and don't pursue harder. If a relationship is what you are looking for, then go find a connection elsewhere. Don't pursue unavailable and unclear partners, it's a dynamic that will only harm you in the long run. All the best