Online Dating- Jealousy

Hello, I've been struggling with RJ for a while now, but sometimes it gets better and much worse for periods of time. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 9 months, and we have never met. We've known each other for 2 years. We first met online, and we later came to realize we had feelings for each other.

Going into the relationship, I knew that my bf was promiscuous. He knew I am a virgin. At first I didn't think much of it, but I started feeling very jealous of his past. The contrast between our pasts is what fucks me up the most.

I've kissed one person, and this was quite literally because I was trying to get over my now boyfriend (who was not my bf at the time). Before that, I never had any sort of romantic experience with anyone. My boyfriend, however, has had sex with 7 other girls, had a threesome, had sex in public, and a lot of other things. He also lost his virginity at 13. As you can see, there is quite a big gap between our levels of experience.

Please don't advise me by telling me to leave this relationship. I love him so much, and I feel very loved in this relationship. I just cannot get over how I will never be his first and he will always be mine. I feel unspecial and so jealous of all the girls that have even touched him. The fact that I have never even met him yet drives me insane. We plan to meet this summer, and I'm scared that all of our romantic moments will be ruined by my intrusive thoughts. I keep thinking gross things like how his dick was in other girls' vaginas, and how good he probably felt while fucking those other girls. I feel like I can't compete; he has 7 other girls to compare me to. I almost feel disgusted at times. I love him very much, but it's just so hard to get over this.

(I am not here so anyone can judge my relationship, so I would appreciate if there were no negative comments about us having not met :( (I've received many comments with negativity in the past))