Relationship break tips??
Hi i am new here. I am in a relationship with my partner for 8 months now. we always seem to disagree about little stuff. Since he works lot, and spend time with his friend and i feel like i come in last. When i express how i feel, he sometimes reassurance me but other time he feels like im doing to much. He feels im senative because im an emotional person. He feel every time i bring up how i feel or some discussion, he think i want to fix a fight. But i don't. So recent he ask for a week for 2 weeks and its already been 1 week and i been feeling like ***. blaming myself, putting negative down on me. saying it my fault and i did this to deserve this. thinking i don't deserve love and thinking like oh his going to do something. trust is a big thing for me. i been on a break with my past relationship where i got cheated on. so ofc im think like this. and not trust a break. I wish i could have clarify and just peace in my mind.
Hi @quickwittedNest6587 ✨
You deserve to be loved and in a relationship that makes you feel happy, heard, supported, cared for…
I’m sorry to read that you are going thru this…Relationships take a lot of energy, commitment, time, but you definitely have to feel at ease on them with someone that wants to be with you, not someone that “needs a brake”, is indecisive, or doesn’t pay attention to your feelings…
You are already whole
You are already somebody
You are enough
You deserve every happiness✨
@quickwittedNest6587
Hi there,
Thank you for sharing your experience. It sounds like you’re going through a really tough time right now, and I want you to know that your feelings are completely valid.
Relationships can be challenging, especially when it comes to balancing time and emotional needs. It’s understandable to feel hurt and confused when you feel like you’re coming in last. Expressing your feelings and wanting reassurance is a natural part of any relationship, and it’s important for both partners to listen and support each other. The beginning of my relationship I had the same. He seemed to care more for his ex that he kept as a friend then me.. he would text her daily, listen to her, she could cry and get what she wanted and I was seen as emotional. My boyfriend has had woman use emotions to manipulate him & so natually he would put up a wall & call me sensitive.... It took a good 2 years for him to start understanding, listern and pull down his walls..
It’s also natural to feel extra sensitive if you’ve been hurt in the past. Trust is built over time, and it can be shaken when we’ve been through difficult experiences. Your concerns about the break and the feelings it brings up are completely normal, especially given your past experiences.
Here are a few things to consider and some steps you might find helpful:
Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. It’s easy to blame yourself and think negative thoughts, but it’s important to remember that you deserve love and respect. Your feelings are important, and it’s okay to want reassurance and support from your partner. That said it is best to try spend time building yourself up so when you express your concerns to him it is done calmly, in a way that he would understand and in a way that he wont take it personally & can't easily say you are "sensitive" in his defence.
Communication: When you have the opportunity, try to communicate your feelings calmly and clearly. Let your partner know that you’re not trying to start a fight but rather expressing your needs and concerns. Open and honest communication is key to understanding each other better. This is easier said then done. It takes him being calm and understanding as well...
Trust: Building trust takes time, especially if you’ve been hurt before. It’s important to remind yourself that not every situation will end like the past. Trust yourself and your instincts, and give yourself permission to feel what you’re feeling.
Support System: Lean on your friends, family, or a support group during this time. Talking to someone who understands can help you process your feelings and provide a different perspective.
Self-Care: Focus on activities that make you feel good and help you relax. Taking care of your mental and physical health is crucial during stressful times.
Remember, it’s okay to have moments of doubt and insecurity. It’s part of being human. What’s important is how you handle these feelings and work through them. You deserve to feel heard, loved, and valued in your relationship.
If your partner truly cares about you, they will be willing to work through these issues with you. It’s okay to take things one day at a time and to seek clarity and peace of mind.
Stay strong, and know that you’re not alone. There are people who care about you and want to see you happy and fulfilled. Keep focusing on your well-being and don’t hesitate to reach out for support when you need it.