Should I move on or stay friends?
I met a lovely woman online and we have been talking everyday for 2 months. The first date went great! I met her again a week after, and it wasn't a date but we had a 2nd date planned for last week on Thursday. That same day she told me that she was "not ready for a relationship". The next day however we texted back and forth and she went into details as to why she couldn't date right now. She said her divorce and dealing with court was one of the reasons and her last two made me sad to be honest. She had an abortion this past summer that bothers her alot and the one that angered me but I was sad for her was that she just started being a sugar baby for extra money because she has been struggling financially. Only people that she told that she was a sugar baby was her best friend and sister and trusted me enough to tell me.
I have tried limiting my contact with her but she said to me that she feels like she ruined our talks and its made her sad. I know she likes me and she has said that her intentions were to be romantically involved with me. I keep getting told by her that nothing has changed between us. I'm just confused, I don't date alot and this is alot to take in.
Should I still stick around as a friend or just move on? Part of me hopes that I can still be with her but I also just feel sad for her situation and would like to be there for her even as a friend.
@fitzgerald434
Hi,
How nice that you met your friend and that you liked one another. Sorry to hear how your friend has been going through a hard time recently. It can be so disappointing when we find the other person isn’t quite at the same place as we are. It sounds like she really has some trust in you if she is sharing this personal information about herself.
I’m pleased she has you to talk with and has opened up about her situation. At least this way, you are aware of how she feels. I totally understand what you mean though when you say you feel confused about what to do, as I’d feel the same. Can I ask how you’d feel if the two of you were to just stay friends as things stand at the moment?
I want to stay friends with her and she does too because we didn't want to lose this connection that we have. We did communicate a little bit more the other day. I explained how I felt and that I respected her decision to not date right now and date when your ready and I told her I wanted to be by her side no matter what. I kept reading advice about no contact but it wasn't the right choice in this at all. Seeing her text about her feeling sad about ruining what we had and noticing how distant and hesitant I've been about talking to her was an eye opener.
I'm all for staying friends with her at the moment, part of me hopes that I can take this time to build a friendship with her and it can turn into something more again with a stronger bond. I did tell her that I was worried about being to pushy about asking for a relationship but she told me she would tell me I won't be pushy and if I am she would tell me.
I deal with depression pretty bad and not having friends doesn't help either so it definitely hurt when this happened. I just don't want to lose this connection. How can I go about supporting her and being there as a friend for her especially through tough times like this? Should I just keep being what she has been attracted to still? I'm inexperienced with this sorry
@fitzgerald434 maybe distance yourself for a while that's probably what id do or just set some sort of boundary if you can.
