Should I wait for 4 years?
Hi, my bf and I are both med students, and the hardworking ones. We started our relationship around 4 months ago, and as time passes, we see that we are a perfect match for each other.
The only problem is him being afraid that his family may find out about our relationship, and tell him to stop it cause it may harm his studies. Well this semester we both helped each other and got great marks, but he's still afraid of them.
He says I should wait for 4 ys so we finish our gp studies and then he will tell his family. What if they don't agree? What would happen to me at that time? I have more choice now, but I don't think I would be able to find any other person 4 years later.
Is it worth waiting? What should I do?
@Melioraleno
It's great to hear that you and your boyfriend have found each other and that you are both excelling in your studies. It's understandable that he is worried about his family's reaction, but it's important to consider what you want and what is best for your own well-being.
You could try to have a conversation with him about how you feel and why waiting for four years may not be the best option for you. It's important to communicate your thoughts and concerns with him and see if you can find a compromise that works for both of you.
You may also want to discuss with him what would happen if his family doesn't agree to your relationship. It's important to have a plan in place and be prepared for any outcome.
Ultimately, it's up to you to decide if waiting for four years is worth it or not. It's important to consider your own happiness and well-being and make the decision that is best for you!
I tried talking with him many times and that I cannot wait for that long. However, he sees this in an optimistic way and says that his family would definitely agree to his request but only at the right time. He just tells me to please wait...
He told me his mother's opinion, I can just tell that she's not the type that would easily agree/agree with conditions.
The only thing that's keeping me is that I can see how he loves me and pays attention to me
@Melioraleno I see, I'm sorry about this situation and I hope it will get better soon
@Melioraleno,
why would you put yourself on hold for four years?
He should tell his family, simple as that.
If he is more afraid of telling his family then expressing his love for you, then you should ask yourself where his priorities are at.
Thank you, that was the answer I was looking for
@Melioraleno
Alright ! So as I can see I am really happy for you both that you've finally found your partners!
Honestly, you are the expert in your situation. Do what you feel like doing is right! If you think waiting for 4 years is the thing which is important and only applicable just go ahead with that!
And after 4 years maybe or now whatever ,if he tells his parents, don't focus on the negative side of it, you should be optimistic and believe that what if they agree to this relationship? It would be so beautiful!
Don't live the future in the present dear, live the present because future is destined from the present and right now only one thing is all that matters and that is your studies !
Love is love ,it doesn't matter how long you've to wait for the other one.
And let me tell you girl there are 8 billion people on this earth, how is it impossible to find a better partner among so many people. And 4 years is a huge period of time, you'll surely find someone more deserving and better person for you!
It's all bout faith, just have faith in yourself and you'll make it till the end!
Slay it !
Thank you for such an optimistic reply, I'm kind of a pessimistic person and tend to think of the worst outcome... I should try not to think of future that much and worry about it...
You should discuss it with your bf! The best thing to do in a relationship is to talk to each other. Try to convince him to atleast tell his parents about you. I wish you good luck in your endeavors!
@Melioraleno It's great that you guys are the perfect match for each other, but if you are why would he be worried about telling his family about you if you're the perfect match for him? So do what you think is best for yourself. This is the future you talking about right now make sure these are the right decisions because a lot can happen in the next 4 years.
@Melioraleno
So, devil's advocate here...if you were to decide that you are too valuable to wait 4 yrs and decided to leave, would he still excel in his studies? Or would he be lost without you in his life and unable to pay attention to his studies?
You've already proven that together, you're a power couple, he needs to acknowledge that you start being a man. His parents shouldn't have a choice in the matter. At least, that's how I see it 🤷♀️
