Unsure
I am unsure if there’s something wrong with me or if my expectations are unreasonable in dating. I have some childhood trauma and I started talking to people online very early in life as a coping mechanism. I can very comfortably write or read about sex but whenever I kiss someone, I don’t feel anything and I always get very hyper aware and nervous doing anything else. Is this normal? Am I not attracted to the guy I’m seeing because I don’t feel anything when we kiss? It doesn’t bother me like I’m not disgusted or anything but it’s just fine. Then with anything further, I clam up and I’m awkward and scared. I thought it was okay to get to know someone for awhile before doing anything sexual but is that unreasonable? Like if I wanted to just get to know someone for a month or two, is that an outdated notion? Any advice would be helpful. Thanks!
@CaffeineandBooks
Thank you for sharing and being able to be so self-aware. It is absolutely ok to take your time getting to know someone before you want to experience more intimacy with them. Some people are comfortable with just a physical attraction, but it sounds like you are looking for a deeper emotional connection to make you feel more comfortable and that is 100% ok. Don't feel societal pressure to comply with what is the current way of thinking. Follow your instincts and listen to your heart. There should never be pressure to do anything you are not ready to do -- physically or emotionally.
All the best to you ❤️
Thank you so much! This really meant a lot to me and I appreciate the advice!!