Worth pursuing if she's not putting in as much effort?
So I met this girl at a hostel, a couple years my senior but both in our 20s. She has her life together, she is a fellow immigrant, and we have 2 mutual languages between each other, so we hit it off and exchanged socials to keep in contact after she had to leave.
Fast forward, this week we confessed that we liked each other, despite living some 2000 km away from each other and wanted a long-term relationship. I said I was willing to move for her in a few months.
The problem it's starting to annoy me the length of time it takes for her to answer her texts and when I asked how we wanted to proceed in this long-term relationship, she didn't know. I want to believe she's a genuinely busy person and she is - she does have a fulltime job and a lot of hobbies. But I also have a job and hobbies but I make time to text. I also know people can be bad texters though. I mentioned calling but she said she gets awkward/anxious which is perfectly reasonable. I mentioned setting up a time to text in real time and she mentioned that she'd be awkward but also said yes. Just not today since she's at a friend's house (even at 8pm? all right), I non-commitally said "another day" and she said all right.
I like this girl a lot but we haven't even discussed how we're actually going to manage our long-term relationship. Part of it might be that she might not check the app we communicate on now as before when we were on a different app we talked pretty fluidly a lot.
I want to believe that she is just going with the flow and likes me back as much. She's called me a 10 and says I'm an interesting person. But she also was surprised at how young I was (to date I'm not sure how old she is). But I don't know what to think. We exchanged maybe like 12 texts today, all about small stuff pretty much aside from asking her to set aside an hour.
Am I just being unreasonably clingy/forming attachments too early and need to back off? Am I destroying this? Or is she? Previously I was answering her texts within 10 minutes at most but now I am backing off a little. Hopeful but idk.
@impartialTurtle6845
Hello!
From what you've shared so far (please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong) it sounds like you both are already friends and like each other. You're both considering next steps but unsure what those might be. So it seems it's a bit of a trial phase? especially since it's going to be long distance at least for a while? In this situation, it is natural to be anxious or sensitive to every sign because it's really difficult to read cues and there is no other communication like body language, tone of voice, etc when all you have is texts.
People have their own boundaries, preferences and ways of how they like to do relationships. I guess that is what you would find out once you've both had a chance to connect at that level, as it's a very personal definition of how fast is a fast text or how clingy is unreasonable, etc. It is of course be a part of your journey to find those boundaries that you're comfortable and happy with!
I hope things turn out okay and your path ahead is a pleasant one :)
