is this okay?
my bf & i r 18. we’ve been together for a year & 6months. hes never trusted me to go out & do things by myself. but Christmas is coming up & i need to do Christmas shopping i told him i wanted to go with my younger sister. he doesn’t like when i hang out with her. he told me to & to go with my grandma. i don’t want to constantly take my grandpa with me everywhere i go just bc he doesn’t like when i go places. i told him that i didn’t want to & i want to take my sister. he said if so then i’d only be allowed tgt one store. i said i had planned tgt 3. he hates when i go more than one place with out him & gets mad i want to be able to do things without him getting mad. after this discussion he said we’d talk about it later. should i be okay with this because i personally don’t want to just go to one store just bc he can’t manage me “ running around town”
I don't see what so wrong about going Christmas shopping with your sister. It sounds like he doesn't trust you to be out on your own. The only reasons I can think of are he either thinks it isn't safe or he thinks you're going to run off with another guy. You should really ask yourself how much you value your own autonomy in a relationship. Do you like letting someone else have control over your actions?
And don't feel bad if the answer is yes. Everyone has different needs in a relationship. But you're 18 now. You're an adult (legally speaking). You don't have to follow your parent's or boyfriend's rules if you don't want to.
In my opinion, it's too risky to let a significant other have so much control over you, to the point of telling you where you can and can't go and with whom. Who's to say you'll still be together a few years down the road? After all is said and done, would it have been worth giving up what you wanted for what he wanted? Just some thoughts to dwell on.
Best wishes, Cain
thanks for the advice. no i don’t like the way he controls me. i wish i was able to do what i want without an argument everytime.
If that so I think you should tell him about it. You want to do things your way. If you keep on letting him get his way, you will lose yourself. Be firm with your boundary. There’s thing he can control and things he CAN’T. He should know which is what.
In the end it’s your life, love. You have power over your life. Not him. Don’t give up your power. Sending love from here ❤️
thank you ❤️