what should i do?
hey everyone, i'm in a pretty sticky situation right now and i need some advice.
me and my ex dated for about two years and we were long distance. i'm talking like across the country long distance. he treated me well and we loved each other a lot. however, we argued a lot the last few months of the relationship and he stopped communicating with me and it felt as if the relationship was failing. i loved him so much but i was not happy for the last few months. i also do not do well with long distance because i end up losing myself in a way.
he broke up with me about three months ago, and i accepted it and started feeling okay without him. i ended up meeting a new guy who is so nice to me and communicates so well. he treats me how i have always wanted to be treated. he shows me off, compliments me, communicates, and takes me out.
however, my ex has been texting me trying to get back together and i am torn. i love him and i always will, and he didn't treat me bad or anything. i also still cant really see a future without him in it. i don't know if thats because he's my person or if i'm still attached to that idea. i'm also afraid that history will just repeat itself and it will end the same way it did the first time around.
i like this new guy a lot too and i love how he treats me. but i find myself not as physically attracted to him as i am my ex and i think that is messing with me a little. i find him attractive and i love his personality, but he is shorter than me and not my usual type. i don't know if i should leave this new connection and go back to my ex, or if i should give this new guy a shot.
either way, i think i will be left wondering "what if" but i know i need to make a decision. i just don't know which one is the right choice.
You said long distance affected you negatively in your last relationship so I don't think you should repeat that process. If it didn't go well the first time then most likely (not always) the relationship will end almost exactly just like the first time. I'm having trouble understand the attraction thing because I'm young so I can't give any advice on that (sry). You need to think about who has treated you better throughout the whole relationship. I'm not trying to pressure you or anything but you might want to come up with a decision soon because it's not fair for your current boyfriend to be just a "choice".
Note: If the last sentence seemed rude in any way I apologize
Well, is the attraction thing a deal-breaker for you with the new guy? Is long distance a deal breaker for you? They kind of sound like they are but you try to compromise on this.
There is always secret option three -- which is neither of them and you take time getting more in tune with yourself and what you want in a relationship.
I would say don't just go back with your ex if it's more about the physical attraction you feel is lacking with the current guy. In the end, both of them will feel used by this. You can recognize that they both have traits that are desirable, but perhaps neither are right for you.
