Advice on giving advice

I didnt know where else to post this because I am new here. I apologize for the length of this. I had to leave a lot out however to keep it this short.

A little background of myself first.. a few years ago when I was 19 I was worried about what to do in life. I made good grades easily without studying much in high school but college was going to take all my time studying. Not to mention college was too expensive. So I made a bad decision to open up an Onlyfans.com account where men could pay a monthly membership fee of 12.95 and pictures and videos of me naked and doing sexual things. They could interact with me and tip me. I could also put up Pay Per View images and videos which they paid for on top of their monthly subscription. I apologize if this sounds crass. These images and videos were usually nude images, and some of them showing me having very graphic sex. The idea of this site is for me to have a fake name, charge a fee, blocking the area from your hometown and have your images copy protected where people could not screenshot them or record them. Long story short, that did not work out. And what was supposed to be a secret was leaked into "Leak Sites" where anyone could access my content for free. Somehow someone in my hometown found my content and word got around. I lost my job because someone told my boss. I lost another job because someone told that boss. I and received a lot of shaming from various people. Any time I got a job it was in danger of just one person telling my boss or complaining and i would lose my job, because most businesses dont want someone on staff that could cause families to leave or feel uncomfortable. My state is an "at-will employment" state so it is perfectly legal to let someone go because of this.

I was also found by stalkers who said they knew my address and described my my car and which window of my house was my bedroom. I lived with my parents and although my mom knew what I was doing my dad found out thru someone else. He wasnt happy but they still loved me and supported me. After a while I had more than I wanted to take and I finally pulled all my content from the site. And I ended up having to move away from that town, and leave most of my friends behind me. Too many people knew and talked behind me back in my town. And sometimes to my face calling me whore and slut. This will affect my career and my relationships and future family the rest of my life. It was the worst decision I could have ever made because those hundreds of pictures will never go away. My potential future husband/bf choices are now even more limited to people who are okay with someone who has done porn. My future children are in danger of being bullied and made fun of when some peer inevitably hears the rumor and finds pictures of me online and spreads them around. In short it affected everything, present and future.

The love of my life who I had been with since we were 16 also broke up with me when he found out. I can't describe the emotional stress I went through. I have a good job now but I have recurring dreams that someone tells my boss about the pictures that are still, and will always be, online for anyone to stumble upon or find on purpose. So while I am happy with my life now, this worry is always in the back of my mind. I keep my past life very secret now and tell no one I used to do porn from my room. It could ruin everything again if it gets out.

But the advice I am seeking is not for me. I recently found out that someone I know (but not that well) just started down the same path I went down. She is 19 and she is using Onlyfans.com as well. We went to the same high school but she was several grades behind me. I found out because one of my few remaining friends from my hometown has a friend who told me (and they didnt even know my past) he showed me pictures of her on his phone which he should not even have because he didn't pay for them. Someone else sent them to him. And others. There were a few other guys there that night who also had her pictures. They were "friends" of hers but were saying really ugly things about her but talking about how they liked having all her pictures and videos on their phones. My friend said they were not like this around her, they were nice to her face.

So her pictures are starting to be compromised and leaked. I decided to look online for her because I used to search for myself on those sites and I found a lot of her pictures available on sites that host Onlyfans leaks. I don't think she has any idea this is happening and I heard people making fun of her and shaming her behind her back. I am not sure if she knows this is happening or not, or what limits she is putting on her future right out of the gate. Some girls are open about this with their friends and family so her friends and family might already know about it. Other girls want it to be a complete secret like I did. I am not sure which category she falls in.

The thing is, I feel like I need to warn her and tell her what is happening. I also want do everything I can to encourage her to stop the content now before she puts out so much that it compromises her future like mine was. There are mistakes in your life that can make you grow as a person, but there are other mistakes that affect your life in negative ways that all you can do is try to adapt. I know how she is thinking, because I was the same way a fee years ago. People tried to warn me but I didn't listen. She doesn't realize the potential problems and stigma she is creating for herself. And if she is anything like I was, she won't want any advice anyway because shes made up her mind. Hopefully she is smarter than I was. Because if I had just listened to others advice who had been there done that, my life and relationships would be much different now.

But I still feel like she needs to know my story. She needs to know what she is risking. She is a very sweet pretty girl. She is also very smart and made good grades easily like I did. She has so much potential in life. But I don't know her well enough to give her advice. I haven't seen her in years in person. So the last time I really had a conversation with her she was still in high school. We have talked since then but not about personal things. I am several years older than her. I know who her friends are but I am not good friends of theirs but I still would consider them friends.

So how do I, who am not in her life but we were acquaintances in the past, tell her my story without risking getting my name back out there? If I tell her personally, and she tells a friend that Mckenzie used to do porn, it could potentially revive my problems again and put my career and future at risk. But she HAS to know. I have spent the last 2 weeks with great heaviness on my heart and tears in my eyes knowing that her secret (if she intends it to be a secret) has gotten out. I think about it constantly. And even if it isn't a secret I want to tell her how this decision WILL affect her future either directly or directly. At the very minimum she will be limited to certain careers. And relationships/boyfriends/ husbands will be limited to a small percentage of men who are okay with that lifestyle or past life, with naked pictures and sexual pictures of her on the internet for eternity. She could always keep it a secret from her future boyfriend/ husband but that's never fun keeping secrets. Plus he may find out another way. Then it's even worse.

In my brainstorming I have thought of messaging her online. But this is not easy to do because I am off of most social media. I do not know her email address. She is on Twitter and Instagram, which I am not on. I could sign up temporarily but then she may be suspicious of someone with no Friends or Followers to even respond or give her advice, or even accept as a friend because I cannot use my real name for my own personal peace of mind. It would be so easy for her to skim or not to read my long message. She may even delete it or block me. I have thought about messaging her best friend and telling her my story and asking her to talk to her. I have thought about actually typing a letter out and sending it to her home, snail mail. But I dont want my return address on there or even my postmark for my town (it's a small town). I found a way around this to send it through a proxy mail service which will postmark it from a different state so it's actually still a doable an option.

My mom knows about this and she is tempted to tell this girl's parents because she is doing it under their roof. And if my mom had it to do over again and knew what the risks were she would have done what she could to keep me from doing this. My mom says, knowing what she knows now, she would want another mom to tell her if they knew. Back then I would not have agreed with that. But looking back I 150% agree. I wouldn't have been happy but I would have listened to my mom if she had been passionate about me stopping. I disagree with my mom because I dont know if her parents should know before this girl knows, and I tell her my story. But it might be the most likely way to get her to stop making content for that site. But is it wrong to go over her head to her parents? If she doesn't listen to me I wouldn't be surprised if my mom contacts her parents anyway. But she knows it has to be anonymously too unless she leaves out my story, which is all she can really base her opinion on.

Her parents may be completely fine with it. (some are) she and I both cone from very liberal households. So I just dont know. But I think if they understood what she is risking without realizing it, they may (hopefully) discourage her from continuing.

The other problem is she MAY be making really good money off of this. I was making 12.95 a month off of hundreds of subscribers. That's a lot of money per month. Not including Pay per Views where one 2 minute video was anywhere from $50-$200 each. (Imagine the type of people who are willing to pay that much for a 2 minute video, when there are billions of images and videos and live cams for free online). And that type of money isn't easy to lay down. But I didn't want to have grown up to be a sex worker so I wanted to get a real job at some point and make a living with my brain not my body. I feel so much better now accomplishing something like this but making way less money. She may not make great money at this. I have no idea. It depends on how hard she works at promoting herself in that community. But the point remains that it is hard to lay down good money you make easily from your bedroom. Especially if you're like me and love to shop.

I'm sorry for such a long message. I just need advice on what I can do here.

Do I contact her anonymously through snail mail and tell her my story and what she can expect in life going forward if she continues this? This is the only way I could get it all out at once, over a lot pages, and just hope she reads it. I have enough details about our town that she would know I am from there.

Do I attempt making an anonymous account on Twitter or Instagram and reaching out there? My story is so long I dont think I could get my point across on these platforms.

Do I let my mother contact her parents anonymously? Do I contact her parents anonymously? I hate the idea of going over a person's head. But what if thats the only way she will listen?

The problem is the anonymous part. I can't call or text her because even if I block caller ID it is traceable. It's not likely at all she would trace me, but I am just not taking that chance.

But better yet, can you think of a better way to do this than I have even thought of? There are so many ways to do this I probably haven't thought of.

I just have to protect my name. If she stops putting out content I will be able to find that out easily online. At that point I would be willing to confide in her and reveal who I am. But if she is ok with continuing with her name out there, I wont feel safe trusting her with my name.

I feel like I see someone going down a road, involuntarily burning bridge after bridge in their life, cutting off a lot of the side roads in life. And headed toward a very dangerous area where she will always have a stigma on her. I feel like I want to jump up and down and wave my hands for her to stop and warn her. I dont know if she will even care. Or take my advice. But I can't watch someone that young (a legal adult but still a kid) hurt their life before it gets started. I do not have any problem with a woman choosing that lifestyle. I am actually for it if thats what someone wants to do. But sometimes at that age we haven't experienced enough of life yet to know what we are wiling to sacrifice, or might already be sacrificing, for the right to do what we want. She could turn out perfectly fine. But I feel like she sh6at least be aware of the potential pitfalls this choice could create in life. NOT because doing what she is doing is wrong, but because society will treat her differently. Some people can handle this better than others, but I think she needs this information to help decide. Th nore information the better when choosing a direction in life. And sometimes as 19 year olds we make decisions that maybe we will want to change once we experience the real world for a few years. I know that was the case for me, and several others I have sought advice from. At least later in life she won't be able to say nobody warned her.

I apologize for the length. Thank you for listening.