Complicated friendship

I'm Weirdo. Yes a bit weird and a sad name to have. But all my life I've seemed to be discribed the best this way. Loner too. I've been bullied a lot and been pushed around and called names... Except friend tho... I see countless guys hugging the bro hug and I don't know what that's like. Even if I look at another guy I get glared at, cause I seem to see them as a partner and others called me gay too. But I am not I know that. I have no interest in guys that way. Just, wanted a friend. Now I have this friend and it is so new and weird to me. I am doomed as he kissed me on one drunk night the first night we hung out... It was sad and I feel bad about it cos he doesn't remember it. My heart broke as I heard his dad molested him and ever since then felt bad. I feel like a bad friend and I don't know if we are okay... I want to be there for him as a friend, but he doesn't wanna talk to me... We kinda just talk alot of nonsense and he constantly changes subjects... It is hard for me to cope with it. I don't wanna lose the only friend I have.