Cutting out friends - or is it just my fault?
This is a long story and could be also a bit of a rant so I thank whoever reads this and gives me some advice.
Basically, myself, two girls on my course at university, my boyfriend and another guy moved into a shared house in September 2018. Myself and my boyfriend had actually officially moved into the house in June, and everyone else was in and out throughout the summer. In this time, those that came in and out left their washing up etc. and rubbish, which at first, I cleaned up. Anyway, I had messaged one of the girls that I will clean the house before they moved in to make sure it was clean and any mess after was mutual. Unfortunately a few days before, myself and my boyfriend had a pretty bad argument which resulted in me going home. I had messaged the girl saying I hadn't had a chance to clean the house but it was relatively tidy.
Anyway, a few weeks in and the girls go on a night out with another two girls on my course and I'm working so can't go. And they leave a mess in the living room. They cleaned it up and completely cleaned the living room which was appreciated, but they took it upon themselves to leave quite a rude message in our house group chat. Saying: 'someone needs to clean the kitchen before I catch a disease'. From that message, I felt personally attacked. With it being February 2019 and that message was sent in September 2018, it can be seen now how much of an impact that text has had on me.
So anwyay I got home and cleaned the entire house, i.e. cleaned the kitchen, hoovered, mopped, cleaned both bathrooms, hoovered the landing, stairs and hallway. To then go into the kitchen the next day and it being a mess. This wound me up a little but I kept my cool.
Things started to get worse, people would leave their recycling on the side when all they had to do was open the back door and put it in the bin outside it. No one would wipe the sides or hob down when they were done cooking. No one was contributing to taking the bin out etc. I had cleaned the house again because it fustrates me when things are dirty. I don't expect students to be squeaky clean but I shouldn't have to worry about them tidying up after they've made a mess. So I started messaging the chat asking for whoever left their rubbish out please put it in the bin etc. Sending messages when I didn't need to? I had to ask the girls 3 times to empty the bathroom bin after it had been their time of the month. There is an age difference between us (19-23) but there is no way i'm doing that for them, i'm not their mum!
We had a halloween party, to which obviously the house got trashed. I was working a lot the following week and didn't want it to be left lying around so I took it upon myself to clean the house top to bottom the next day. I was asked if I wanted any help, to which I declined, but I did ask that the bathrooms be done and the cups be washed. Anyway, that night the two girls had their boyfriends round and had pizza. Their boxes (along with pizza inside still), were left in there for a week. Even after I cleaned. I wasn't even thanked. Bearing in mind I passed out from the party at about 12am. None of my so called 'friends' checked on me or asked if I was alright, or where I was. If anything I hardly saw them the most of the night.
Anyway a few weeks later the house was getting dirty again and we were told by our landlords that they had some viewings arranged and the house needed to be cleaned. So from a message from my boyfriend to the group chat, stating how disgusting the place was, said we all need to pick a room and clean it. I had both bathrooms, my boyfriend the living room, the guy had hoovering and the girls had the kitchen.The girl that had sent the message from the start, went out instead of helping the other girl clean the kitchen. So the girl left to clean, got her mum round to clean it instead. Anyway, I still don't agree with my boyfriend for doing this but he messaged the chat saying the kitchen floor was disgusting, to which triggered the girls mum coming round to SHOUT at me and my boyfriend. The mum had said that i'd told her daughter that the house is clean and it needed to stay that way, and basically said a lot of stuff that wasn't true. I had explained to her mum a lot of my issues with the situation in how no one pulls their weight & I seem to be the only one doing anything around the house. Her mum ended up agreeing with me but I was mortified. How embarrasing, at 23 years old i'm being yelled at by a grown woman who only knows one side of the story? The other girl pretty much threw me under the bus by letting her in full well knowing she was going to shout at us, is that a real friend? That night my boyfriend fell sick and was put into an ambulance, and the girl whos mum had come round that day came downstairs to say bye to her boyfriend, and she said nothing to me. She never asked how he was or anything, she just ignored it like it didnt happen. The other girl must've known too but she never asked me either. A few weeks before as well i'd got into a car accident and didn't have my car, no one wanted to help me out then either. At that point I was quite low and gitterish almost.
Anyway I started to distance myself from them even more and they did the same to me, where they'd do things just the two of them and i'd be left out. I'd message to do things with one of the girls but she'd always ditch me for other plans. I stopped attending lectures and would just decide to stay in bed instead. I decided to stop sending messages about cleaning because they just ignored them, but after the mum incident they stopped leaving their rubbish around.
Before christmas I had cleaned the house top to bottom, so it would be nice whilst it was just me and my boyfriend. One girl left but the one whos mum came (she lives in the same city), would be in and out whenever she saw her boyfriend. That day, the kitchen floor that I had hoovered and mopped, had white foot prints all over it. It wasn't me or my boyfriend because we had left for home for a few days. And yet no one seems to know who it was. Also, the bathroom sink is blocked, and i'd reported it to our landlord & nothing happened, and of course, they didn't do anything about it so it was left. But it was clean. Within that same day it was dirty again, and that bathroom hasn't been cleaned since. I've taken it upon myself to move into the boys bathroom- actually the guy that lived with us moved out because he was fed up with how loud and rude the two girls were. So me and my boyfriend share the other bathroom now, which has seemed to calm me down quite a lot.
Anway, I think all of these emotions of them two blocking me out because I believe, because i've asked them to clean, has built up. Basically, it's one of the girls birthdays this weekened and she wants to go to the club. I said to her I won't be going but i'll stay for pres. I didn't say that my boyfriends friends are coming that day and i'll go out with them because I don't want to seem like i'm ditching and I thought that I didn't need to give an explaination, so I just didnt explain myself like I usually would. Anwyay she asked me again if I was going to the club and I said no, to then the other girl sending a message to the girls group chat basically showing off their plans for the weekend, whatever. Then as I was walking to uni yesterday, I noticed that they had tagged eachother and the girls whos birthday it is boyfriend in a post I had liked about selfishness. Immediately I knew it was about me because I had said I wasn't going to the club. To which hurt me. I know I haven't taken it upon myself to talk to them about how i'm feeling but to see them basically mock me online was hurtful. As well for the boyfriend who I don't know to join in as well.
I was supposed to be going to a gig with them in a few weeks time, and I had been contemplating going for a while because of how I feel about hanging around with them. How I couldn't even stand going to lectures with them because they would just walk off etc. So after seeing that online I sold my ticket and asked the girl to give it to me so I could post it to the buyer. I had done wrong in this sense because she messaged me back and I had sent her a message that wasn't meant for her, it wasn't too bad but I shouldn't have done it. Anyway about 10 minutes later, I see online that her boyfriend has indirectly called me a c*nt. So I took it upon myself to fully remove them and block them on my social media accounts, because really who wants to see that?
Yesterday when I saw those first tweets from the night before, I was walking to Uni. I then walked straight home, got into bed and haven't moved since. I've been on and off crying because I don't know what to do or how to control my emotions. My boyfriend spoke to them briefly in the kitchen and they both told him 'why doesn't she just talk to us' and 'i dont see why she deleted us of social media whats the point' and how they 'don't understand what they've done or whats happened'. I'm sat here upstairs basically hiding from them because I have built everything up for so long that I think i'll explode if I talk to them. My boyfriend thinks the whole thing is immature and I should go and talk to them, but mentally I really can't do it/don't want to.
I have no idea what to do because it's stopping me from attending my lectures and I've been sat around now just crying and being upset and avoiding going downstairs because I don't want to see or talk to them.
What should I do? Am I being over dramatic?
