Facing struggles: How do I deal with someone I don't like?

Ever faced people who bother you, or who you just can't stand? As you go through life, there will be people you dont get along with, but you must tolerate — whether it is a co-worker, a boss, teacher or an acquaintance of a friend. Most people have been faced with the awkward situation of dealing with someone that likes them a lot more than they like the other person, or when you have to work together but can't stand them, in situations like these, its difficult to know just the right way to behave. You want to be civil, but cant be friendly. What to dooo?

Sometimes we dont connect the same with certain people as we do with others, and before you can appropriately handle the situation, it is crucial that you recognize that it is okay that you dont like them. This does not make you a bad person and it doesnt mean you think they are a bad person either. Some of the major pointers to think about are:

☆ Changing yourself

When dealing with people, you should always try to remember that its not about changing others, but about changing yourself. The best way to address an undesirable situation is to try and change the way you perceive it and your reaction to it. By changing that, everything else will begin to follow suit. Its called adjusting and compromising, you have to try to adjust in order to live with others, as hard as it might be. Because, in all honesty, do you think someones going to instantly change if you ask them Hey, I dont really like that you talk so much.. please work on it (Sorry that was put quite rudely, but no matter how you put it, its not the best thing to say!)

☆ Creating boundaries

You need to establish boundaries on what behaviors you will or will not tolerate from other people. By drawing such limitations, you are clearer about the kind of behaviors you expect from others. If you do not do this, it will be easy for you to be pushed over. Many people are unaware of other peoples limits and will force their beliefs on you if you do not stand your ground. Thats just how they are as a person and dont realise that theyre encroaching upon your personal space, so always good to tell them what youre comfortable with and what youre not.

☆ When they just dont get it - Ignorance

Sometimes people just dont get it. They dont understand your perspective and after continuously trying, they may still not comprehend. At this point, it may be in your best interest to simply ignore this person. When you respond, you give them a reason to prolong their actions. If you just ignore them, they are left with no other choice but to bother someone else. Also it hints to them tendencies about their own conduct and may help them do some introspection. In certain situations, it is difficult not to take the actions of others too personally. Watching other people deal with the same annoying person as you, can be an eye-opening experience. Observing situations from a third partys perspective can give you insight on how best to manage this person. The next time you are with someone that annoys you, try to get someone else involved in the conversation. Bring up a topic that they can engage in while you take a backseat and observe the interaction.

☆ What if I have to meet them all the time?!?!?!

When there is someone in your social circle that you dislike, it is difficult to ignore them. This is usually the case of a friend of a friend. Just because someone you like enjoys them does not mean that you must. But you do have to be tolerable and not cause friction within the circle. Also, it is best not to talk bad about this person to your other friends because it will just make you look like the idiot in the situation. If you have to see someone you detest on a regular basis, it all boils down to self-discipline. You cant let anything this person says bother you; always remain the bigger person. If they dont like you either, that is their own problem, but you dont want to go out searching for trouble from other people. Always treat them with respect because they will end up treating you the same way. When dealing with people, you get what you give. Be nice enough, but not too nice, as to open yourself up to getting pissed off and upset. Never let them know if anything bothers you, just keep living life!

Hope this helps you a bit even if not completely. I'm going to try do a series of this "Facing Struggles" and cover as many struggles as possible. If you'd like me cover a specific point, do shoot me a message or comment on one of these threads :)
Stay strong, stay happy x

cc: @Roadie

Tagging everyone who commented on the share you struggles in the 20s forum :)

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