Fall our with Best Friend who I was in love with
Hi!
I have been in love with my best friend for about five years. In fact, it has been so long, that I am not even sure if it turning into obsession.
About five years back, when I changed school, he was the first person who I really got along well with. He had just come out of a breakup, and I became an emotional support for him thereafter. I had a mild crush on him at that time, but I don't know when it blossomed into a very deep emotion. (Un)luckily, we both got admission in same college. I was hopeful that he would fall in love with me now. But he didn't. In fact, he became popular, made new friends, but I just couldn't feel the 'friendly' connect with anyone else.
In the past few months, situations were such, that he started spending more time with his other friends. It wasn't that he was ignoring me, but I felt lonely. He still claimed that I was his 'best friend', but I can feel now that things have changed for worse. We used to tell each other about our lives all the time previously, but now, he scarcely messages/calls me. I feel our conversations have become more formal, though he feels nothing has changed.
A few days back, I told him to snap off this friendship. He cried a lot, and I felt terrible. The terrifying thing is, for a brief moment, I felt good seeing him suffer. We decided to not snap off the friendship, but rather let it take its course. Not try too hard. I am scared. I don't want to be a bad person, and I hope things were as they were before.
There are moments when I feel so weak. I cry my lungs out. Sometimes, I feel like commiting suicide, but the pangs are not too strong, and I am able to convince myself that it is not a solution. I always wanted myself to be a strong person. I don't want to call him, but I want him to call me. I don't know. I have people who care for me, but I don't feel connected to them. They tell me I am overcomplicating the situation myself. Should I just wait for this phase to pass?
Hi, this is just my opinion, but I think you should wait for around a week to pass, and then, if you are both more calmed down, talk to him. If he cried, he obviously cares for you. You should make a serious and open conversation with him. Find a moment and place there he will be comfortable talking to you. If you try to be honest it will affect him and maybe you will find something out that you didn't know, or maybe you will tell him something he didn't know about you. From my perspective, it looks like you have some misunderstandings, and clearing them out is the first step to a better relationship(whether it's friendship or love).
I am going through the exact same thing. I am in love with my best and only real friend for 2 years now and i don't know what she thinks of me. She kinda stopped texting me and not asking me to come over anymore. Now i think i fixed it by asking her to watch all star wars movies with me. my point is anything can change any moment so try to make the best of it.
