Fed up!
Were seeing how things go but Im not hopeful.
We live together - we used to talk but as the relationship progressed he said he prefers quiet times and doesnt like talking and although he can be real fun, he also gets a bit antisocial and needs his space. About a year ago I had a male friend I was messaging - he knew about him - someone I could confide in - in the absence of my bf not talking. On occasion my friend would say something inappropriate which I would just ignore or dismiss.
My bf saw one of these messages and was upset that I hadnt been direct. I cut off contact with my friend and weve been getting on really well. Even talked about marriage. Always messaging, always saying how much we love each other. Then over the last few months hes more distant and after months of asking, says hes still struggling with the messages and feels we dont get on.
Hes been working long hours so I try to help and because my job is more flexible, I try to plan things (before we had this conversation) which he says is smothering him and feels Im trying too hard to spend time with him. Yet he find can find time to be with friends :(
I thought I was doing what most couples would? So now Im leaving him to it and just seeing what happens. But wish this sick feeling in my stomach would go - feel quite lonely because hes never around and insecure just not knowing what is happening.
@Katie3401
I'm sorry to hear you're having a sucky time. Relationships are so hard, especially when you feel like the only one whos trying to hold everything together.
How long have you guys been living together for?
Have there been any further developments since this post?
Hannah
@Hanzzii thanks for your reply. Were trying to work things out and seem to be getting on ok. Weve been living together for around a year. Its left me feeling quite insecure. Dont think he sees how he changes his mind on things and how that confuses me - as he doesnt like talking much so I dont always know if he has changed his mind on something.
I feel quite low in general because of it all. I worry that his usual reaction in relationships is to walk away rather than talk / work things out.
My job involves a lot of working on my own too and theres not much work atm so feel like Im spending too much time on my own. The company seem happy to pay me till the work picks up but Im sitting around waiting for work when I guess other people would feel less guilty about doing other things in the meantime like go to the gym!
He was really pressured at work too which has improved and helping things but maybe I worry about not knowing what the future holds pointlessly - we cant ever know for sure any way?!
@Katie3401
You r doing what is needed. It seem his way of dealing issue to get cornered. Which nobody can change. Let him take space. You start focusing on yourself. As already had put a lot. Give yourself a pampering time as it hard time and you need positive energy to deal with it. Best of luck. Relationship r tough to maintain. When the partner don't express than it more confusing and energy drain thing. Take care.
@Maturefriends thank you - I have been taking more time out so its reassuring that this is also your thoughts. Im trying to take each day as it comes and not ask him anything. Hope we can work this out!
@Katie3401
That's great. Will Pray thing work out and you have awesome time with each other
