Friend in abusive relationship
I have an online friend, who I have never met, who is in a long-term abusive relationship. She messaged me today, scared, saying that he was going mental at her because she didn't buy him a pack of cigarettes with her student finance money and that he was punching things and screaming. I haven't heard from her since and I'm very worried.
I don't know how to help her for the best. I think she uses our online community as an escape, so I don't want to pressure her too much to leave him, as I think that will just push her away. What can I do?
Hey pal, this is serious. You need to put things very clear to your friend, that's a toxic relationship and it could/will end not very well for her if she keeps tolerating that behavior. She needs to realize she must love herself first so that way she can love others, and that is not love, it's fear.
You as a friend should take her to a support group in your town and get help. When you notice she's getting away from you then try harder to contact her, to show her she is not alone in this. I hope this ends well for her buddy.
I've had a friend in the same situation. Even after showing her all the ways he was abusing her mentally and physically she didn't stay away from him for more than a week. In the process, she now blames me for causing the problems in their relationship and I have lost my best friend because of it.
Sometimes you have to let people make their own mistakes. You can only suggest the right thing to do, it's up to them to follow that path to self respect.
I'm sorry you have to be a helpless bystander to this. It's a terrible feeling.