Help with friendships...
Hello everyone. Looking for an outside perspective on this.
So since very young I always liked helping others, mainly because I went (and go) through alot. However as anybody else I would like some support aswell.
I can't count with my family much, not because they don't love me, but because they don't understand my mental health issues, neither can they have fun with me which is understandable.
However when I try to reach to old friends they completly cut me out. And I'm talking really big friendships. Now I realise these people are in university and relationships, I'm not jealous to the point I won't get that. What it makes me angry though, is how when they DO need help they come running to me, desperate for help and pretend to be all friendly. They even want to go out! But when I DO need help, nothing. No response, or when they do respond is like a single test.
I'm absolutly exahusted of trying I swear to god.
I keep thinking I should make new friends, however I'm VERY bad at doing so. Since I lost my grandparents at the age of 10 I struggle alot to connect with people, so people often find me extremly weird and notice how unconfortable I am.
Any suggestions? I'm so depressed about this that I haven't even showered for a week (I know, gross).
@Booklover95 Hey my not-showered-for-a-week buddy, I'm right there with you.. isn't depression fun? anyways being more serious...I honestly don't have any suggestions for you. I'm facing almost the same situation, like my friends are only my friends when they need something, but outside that I don't matter much to them, they never really help when I need it, almost like they don't take what I say seriously or just brush it off as "me too lol"..which I guess, kind of led me to just stop telling them altogether. Anyways the point of this is...I'm just gonna sit quietly with you in solidarity. It really sucks, it's tough but..at least we're not alone in this 
If I have to make a suggestion...have you tried telling them about how they're making you feel, how having their support would really mean a lot to you? Idk, it's tough because really you're not the problem here, this is the inaction of others. And you can't really force someone to act differently...so it's hard to make a change, outside of finding more proactive people, which isn't always easy :S
@TaranWanderer
You seem so lively and kind though! I'm so sorry to hear that, people indeed are unfair :(
@Booklover95
Hi. I don't have a ton of advice for you. But I just want to let you know that you are not alone. I know the pain, stress, and relationship chaos you are going through. I have been through something very similar. You will make it through. Try to focus on your needs. Do something that makes you feel confident and proud of yourself.
@Booklover95 hey! It's a very lonely experience to know people have wanted you only for the help that you provide and they can be so desperate about it. All friendships are two-way streets, as much as we want to be selflessly helpful, that can make us very resentful deep down. We deserve efforts being made back to us!
The good part is, the help we give shouldn't have to be continued and can be given or not given as per your own terms. For example, for me life has gotten too busy right now so I don't really have to time to even sit and talk to anyone. Its not impossible to bypass this situation and grow into a better person. Who knows, maybe these learning lessons are leading you to better friendships! 😊