How do I work my way into a group?
I'm a senior in highschool, I spent 3+ years in a relationship that ended horribly. A year later I'm very independent, I've taken up my artistic/musical skills again, I've changed A LOT. Boys talk to me but I'm not interested in a relationship right now. My "close friend" for over 12 years is so oblivious, selfish and lazy I cannot take it anymore. I am of no interest to her because she's obsessed with her latest bf (this is her typical routine). Honestly we just aren't clicking anymore, I'm embarrassed to be around her because of who she is, she also told me "we won't be friends" when she leaves for college :/
With 4 months left of school I realized I won't have any friends after I graduate. I feel alone and I've been looking for a genuine and deep friendship for a while now. I have found the people but I don't know how to get into their close little clique of three people. They are the most down to earth, genuine, caring, pure and excitable people I've ever met. But I am unbelievably shy and also intimidated by them because they are who I want to be and have the friendship I've always wanted. I really like them but we aren't super close. I talk to one of the girls more often than the other two people (we share a lot of the same interests) but our convos rarely go further than the topic of school. There's rarely time to talk at school, I'm too awkward/shy to ask them to hang out or approach them. How do I make my way into the group? If I even can.
Hi @badasspistachio, I really get where you are coming from. My friendship groups have waxed, waned and changed dramatically over my short years (I'm 25) and in the past I have felt there was something wrong with me for not still having the same friends I went to school with. But the way I see it now is people grow and change all the time so it's only natural for your relationships to change as a result. Does that make the friendship you once had less meaningful because it's over? Heck no - it's just another chapter in the story of your life.
As for making new friends, I know from experience that you can never force it. The best and most meanignful friendships I have formed have happened organically. Yes, make sure you put the effort in by interacting with others but don't sweat it if it doesn't work out. It is not a reflection on you as a person if you don't click with someone. As the saying goes "You can't be everyone's cup of tea". What I have found helpful is to concentrate on being friends with my myself because when you truly enjoy your own company, you understand why other people would too and it really helps with having the confidence to put yourself out there. Plus, investing time in your hobbies means you have more to talk about with new people. I personally would love to hear all about your music and art. Remember you are an interesting person worthy of love. You deserve good friends and you don't have to do anything or be anyone different to find them.
@kookyCloud4225
Thank you for taking the time to read that and respond. I really appreciate what you said and it's opened my eyes to how there will be numerous new chapters in my life. You're completely right about not forcing anything, although I do hope I will find a group like theirs soon. But for now I will focus on being my own friend and building my confidence like you said (:
Again thank you so much for the reassurance, and such kind words. This is my first time on here and I am very grateful that someone as kind as yourself responded. Take care!
