How do you get over the fear of opening up to others?
In the past, I lived a dysfunctional life with poor boundaries, and (as a result) ruined a couple of friendships. I didn't realize how badly depression and anxiety were spilling over into every aspect of my life... But as bad as it was, I found it easy and almost enjoyable to open up to those that I cared for.
I'm now MUCH healthier emotionally and mentally, but I can't seem to develop friendships as easily as before. It feels like hitting a wall. I'm afraid of being vulnerable, afraid of rejection, afraid of screwing up. CBT techniques have really helped me, but now every move seems technical, robotic, logical. Love and friendship are now more like social experiments than actual experiences.
Is it normal to feel this way after we begin improving ourselves as people? Like navigating old territory with a new set of equipment?
Hello, @tobecontinued
I'm so glad to hear your life has improved so much and it really sounds like you managed to emotionally grow and develop a lot. Of course that the moment you become "bigger" emotionally and psychologically speaking you are also able to observe and become aware of things you haven't notice before, including problems that you might have. It could also be that this process of improving your life determined you to focus a lot on yourself and thus prevented you from opening so much. I guess it's important for you to now take everything you learned and everything you are and place yourself back into the world. Maybe you feel like you got yourself in a lab, worked a lot on you and now that you're "out" it all feels a bit artificial but it doesn't have to be like that. We are all afraid of being to vulnerable and of making mistakes but that's actually what gives life its charm so don't worry too much about it and try to just get out there and feel. And be honest, always be honest with yourself and with those around you. :)
Take care and good luck! (hugs)
Lovely answer
@cloudTraveler
@enigmaticSunshine79
Thank you! I hope it was helpful :)
@cloudTraveler "Get out there and feel." I love that. Thank you!
I forget the fact that people may judge you. I try being honest and think of all the good things that can happen after this. But I never leave my guards down.
I focus on conveying my emotions rather than on the reaction I could get for it. I try my best at having a polite approach about it.
@Smiley8 Thanks!