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Thank you in advance for reading.
im having an issue with my friendships. I always had trouble keeping friends and maintaining a healthy friendship. A lot of people have taken advantage of me throughout my childhood, I always heard it was normal to have friends that you'd keep for years but ever since I was able to make friends they've stolen from me, made fun of me, or told other people that we weren't friends. I know this stuff can happen as a kid but it's happening as an adult, with me being 23. About a year ago someone I considered to be my close friend introduced me to her boyfriend as "this is my... friend? I guess?" And stopped talk to me afterward. Another person I thought was my friend was being really rude, and I kept asking her to stop and she was always so apologetic and I thought we could make it work until about a week ago she told me she wished I'd just stop talking.
I'm not mean to anyone, I'm always there when someone needs it, I'm a little awkward but I don't think I'm that bad... but I've never in my life had a friend that didn't treat me like crap. Even people I meet randomly seem annoyed with me anytime I say anything and I don't know if I'm imagining it or what. I feel absolutely unlikeable and so alone.
@Potatowitch *Hugs!*
I'm really sorry to hear that. Even I had really bad experiences in friendships. First thing I want to tell you is that you're enough & you deserve happiness. No one has the right to make you feel bad about being yourself. Talking about friendships, first thing I want to say to you is never try to fit in. I'm not telling you to stop being with people. Learn something from everyone but don't let them be in charge of your happiness. Yes, my words might sound harsh but it's true. Self love is sooo important. We should have friends who know what we deserve. Who know how we deserve to be treated & if you haven't found them yet please don't go back to the people who left you. We can't predict what made those people do it but those friendships were not healthy for you. You'll surely find better people in your life. But, never forget yourself. If we don't respect ourselves enough, no one does. Believe in yourself. You deserve love, appreciation & care. Don't stay with people because you think they will treat you good. Stay with the ones who actually do. You're capable of everything. Focus on yourself, give yourself the love you have given to them & stay hopeful.
Also, I'm always here to talk if you ever need me! :)
I hope you get out of this phase stronger. Remember not to make yourself alone. We meet good & bad people but we learn something from everyone we meet.
@Yougotmyback
thank you so much for responding. I think you're right, I need to just work on my confidence and self love. It's easy to think that there's something wrong with me but maybe I'm just bad at picking friends? Whatever the reason is I'm going to start my week of self care right now. And thank you again, reading that really helped cheer me up.
@Potatowitch I'm so glad. I'm always here if you feel any sort of help regarding that & yes. Not everyone is good for you but it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you. I've read a quote somewhere.
"Good people can still be toxic to each other." Yes, friendships & relationships don't work sometimes. We can't stop living because of few people. :)
You'll definitely find better people in life. My good wishes are with you. :)
And all the besttt! Focus on yourself for some time.
@Yougotmyback Hi there; I really want you to know that you are not alone in your problems with your relationships - it is a common one. I'm 55 and I want to tell you that people will always come and go in your life. The one that stays constant is YOU. Yes, it is painful but the WHY of why people come and go you will never fully know so try and be easy on yourself. And when you are younger people can even be more HARSHER - from what I remember. Self-love is a great idea. Get into 1 or 2 hobbies that you enjoy - maybe hiking, etc. Whatever you REALLY LIKE and do MORE OF THAT. Maybe join some social groups when times permit and learn to be LOOSE with people - hold them with an open hand. This is a learned skill. But just know that what you are going through now will get better over time. I remember that well. You are perfect the way you are! People would be LUCKY to have you as a friend. Hang in there!
@Potatowitch unfortunately some people ( a lot of people) get power trips from making little digs at others -- especially people who are very nice.
Cocern about connection with a group of people.
I know 4 people who know each other. We have had lunch together. One seems caring more so than the others to me. She gets along with the other 3. She talks to another one of us besides me frequently too. She asked me if I had spoken to the other lady she speaks to on frequently. I said no we weren't friends. I think I probably caused problems for myself by saying this to her. She probably told the other lady I'll call Pat. I said to the first lady also I never see Pat much. I don't think there against me. I have suspension that the caring lady I'll call Linda was trying to see how I felt about Pat.
Pat is insensitive to me. I confronted her in past. She comes across like I'm wrong and insensitive.
In some ways she has been nice and has been supportive of the 4th person of the 4, I'll call Lee. And has helped me a couple times to her credit. Also she invited Lee and I over on holidays, Linda couldn't come.
There were some conflict in December and Pat and Li NDA did not come for Lee's Birthday celebration I initiated. Long story short. It is difficult because I'm not sure about if I can trust Linda. Pat texted me today, but I'm leery of her, because she is very judgmental and critical of me at times. I 'm not sure how to keep boundaries.
Correction to last post. Pat thinks I'm too sensitive and is insensitive to me
