I am a part of a toxic friend group

I have been friends with these people (group of 8-10 individuals) for around 8 years now. I constantly feel like an outsider. They would always plan secret hangouts and never invite me. I also live in the west side of the city while they live in the north, but I also drive so I’m not sure why they don’t invite me to anything. I only find out once I see it on their social media. I also put a lot of effort into the friendship and they just accept whatever I give them. They never reciprocate it back. They never really care how I feel or how I’m doing. I made mistakes in the past and those are long stories ahhah but I feel as if they hold on to my past mistakes and use it against me even when I’m trying to be a new person and change the way I am. For example I feel awkward tension whenever I’m around them like they’re holding themselves back. This made me think whether it was my doing because I made them drift away from me but I’m honestly now sure anymore. I’ve known them for so long it’s kinda hard for me to drift away or leave them. I am close with around 3 people in that group now but before I was close with all of them. I’m not sure what I should do and it hurts me inside and I can’t tell them because they will just talk about it one day and then forget about it in the future. Thanks for reading this.