I don’t know what I’m doing

Hi group, I’m new here and I don’t know what to do

with so many thoughtS. First of all, I’m from Ecuador

and English is not my first language so I apologize in advance for any grammatical mistake I might make. Second, for the same reason I’m from Ecuador is why im writing this, my country is falling into pieces man, like many Latin American countries, we’ve never been really “stable” economically and we’ve always had crimes, violence and many types of horrible things but since the pandemic everything has fallen even worse and we have this new president (who turned one year in mandatory yesterday) that is just awful, the violence has increased severally like we have murders and robberies every day at my hometown and people is scared of just leaving their houses even for a cup of coffee or something so mundane like that.

having said that, and this is why im in the friendships and relationships group, what happens is that most of my dearest loved friends and my partner have been saying about leaving the country going to somewhere else, just fleeing basically and objectively it’s the best fkn option man, we’re living here like if it was hell. But you know, I just feel like that possibility is so distant for me, like they can say easily they want to start a new life bc of their economic possibilities and other circumstances but for me I think it’s so hard. I’m 24, I’m not really employed, my family household is formed just by my mentally ill mother and my elder aunt and my heart breaks just by the thought of leaving them but man I wish to leave so bad and I can’t imagine a future without these wonderful people in my life (my friends) and yesterday when they were talking ablout leaving I just wanted to cry bc I think that would be impossible foR me:(

how do I manage this emotions? How do I address this feeling at least to my partner who I love and have a beautiful and healthy relationship and I want to get to grow with them? How do I talk about this with my mom and aunt? How do I deal with living in this hell of a country (a country I deeply love but

its so corrupted that I can’t with it anymore)

im

sorry for the long

mesaage but I don’t know where else I can vent all of this.