I don't know what to do about this friend
so.. i have a friend who i've gotten to know very well since halfway through last year. I'm always ready to make new friends, and i felt that she was a good person, so i started getting close with her and just getting to know her better. When the school year finished and holidays began, she kept asking me if i'd like to meet with her somewhere to do something. at first i said "sure" because i was happy we were getting closer, but the more we met the more i came to realise all she talked about were her problems (she has very complicated family problems). I could understand why she would want to talk to someone about it, and i figured i might be the only person she could turn to. But then she started whining about her boyfriend to me, when i had previously told her about feeling sad and insecure because no guy had ever had any interest in me. She asked me for advice, and although as a friend i am supposed to help in whatever way i can, i just felt like she didnt truly care about me but needed me as someone to vent to. i dont know how to explain it, but i just feel... used a lot of the time when i'm with her. Sometimes she throws me away to hang out with her boyfriend, like at school i'd be alone at breaktimes because she would be off with her boyfriend. And when we'd hang out together i'd feel like i was being dragged around, going where she wanted to go and doing what she wanted to do. i feel uncomfortable around her now, and i've come to realise her opinions and values are very different to mine. she also loves to talk shit about other people, and initiate gossip. she used to talk constantly about past friendships and boyfriends that made me wonder "if i cut her out of my life how many people will she go to to bitch about me?" i'm part scared and part worried about not being close friends with her. im keeping my distance nowadays, and now that i do so, there is nothing interesting or important we talk about together anymore. she probably thinks of me as a close friend so i feel bad, but she is toxic and im not happy or comfortable around her so i dont know.. what to do. At one point i thought she was a good friend but now i'm not so sure. how do you just cut people out of your life??? help
Hey! :)
It is such a delicate situation you have in your hands. I'm not the best person to give you advice, since I don't even know you, but there are somethings that you can consider.
Do you think that it's good to try to talk to her? Is it worth it? Maybe bringing your concerns to her, she will understand how toxic she has been.
I see that you're already considering to give up on this friendship. Maybe weighing your options will help. Is it worth saving? What are you afraid about, to have someone talking bad about you or the thought that she may not like you anymore? The answers to these questions may help you.
Good luck! I'm rooting for you. If you need something, you can PM me. :)
Hi, I get how u feel alone but a friend shouldnt treat you that way, try and let her now how you feel. Just tell her im sure she would understand if she really is a friend i went through my last year at school alone if you need someone to talk to message me.
Your friend may not realize what she is doing talk to her and if she continues you know you gave it a fair shot. When you express your feelings true telling her that when yall are together let's be problem free and have fun. Sure yall may need to vent sometimes but not all the time. Hope this helps
