I feel negative towards my friend...

Hello, I've been in a somewhat complicated situation with a friend of mine I met back few years ago. We haven't been recently talking to each other. However, atleast from my part, this is because I have been feeling various emotions about them, significantly hate.

When we first met, we didn't think of each other as likeable as they thought I was too naive and I thought they were too blunt. Nevertheless, we were in the same friend group and we grew to be friends. However, in the past, I did not realize that I started developing some grudge on them due to some events. Because I did not realize it at that time, I unconsciously did some things that they would not like as well. However, once I realized that I grudged them, I started to avoid talking to them because I felt even more hate towards them. Although I realized my grudge was the reason why I did things that they disliked, I did not take the courage to confront about it and apologize.

We drifted away without much conversation to be honest, but we are still in the same friend group. So once in a while, I have to face them, and I have difficulty trying to not reveal my negative emotions towards them. I have been trying to tell myself that they did not mean to hurt me for what I grudged them on. I thought I resolved the hate and uncomfortableness towards them, but it kept coming back, which made me act even much weirder when they are in prescence.

I don't know what to do. What can I do?