I have no friends (literally).

I'm a pretty social person, but I struggle to make deep, lasting relationships. I'm a sophomore in high school, and my closest relationships are with the seniors (which still aren't very close). Now, they're all going to leave me and I'm going to be left alone in the dust.

I feel like one of the big reasons I have very few friends is because I want real friendships; not the ones where you talk behind other people's backs. I feel like its better to be alone than in these kinds of relationships. Most kids at my school are full of drama and talking crap about each other, and I can't stand it. I can't seem to find anyone that thinks like me. I feel like the majority of kids in my school are less mature than me and I don't feel like I can deeply connect with people like that as our life situations and ways of thinking are so much different. I feel lost and alone. I know it will get better, but I can't seem to get past it and it breaks me down. I don't know whether I have to lower my standards or just wait it out.I've been known to be unliked, an outsider in groups and the one that gets kicked out of friend groups for who knows what. I don't know whether I'm just that boring, or I just haven't met the right people. It's probably made me extra paranoid and sensitive in relationships, but I also feel like unfortunately this is something common and is actually a problem despite the fact that lots of people think its not truly happening and it's all in my head.

I also don't know how fast to pace friendships. People say to take it slow, but I don't know how slow to take it.

Also, there are some boys I talk to in school. They are the stereotypical nerds and we are fairly likeminded. They aren't dramatic, and have my sense of humor. I really enjoy their presence, but I'm not sure those feelings are reciprocated. I don't want to annoy them with my presence. Also, being stereotypical nerdy boys, they seem to find it weird that a girl wants to join their friend group, and I don't want to just barge into a fully formed friend group. I don't know if or how to get into that friend group. I'm so lost.

So I have a few questions:

1. How do I find and make friends?

2. Do I wait for someone who I really click with or should I go with people that I sense don't truly enjoy my presence and that I feel talk about me behind my back?

3. How do you pace a friendship?

4. Do I pursue my friendship with the boys? If so, how?

Feel free to answer one, multiple, or none of these questions. I really just needed to get this weight off of my shoulders.